At the start of our month 6 debrief one of our coaches asked us to pray about a few things. She told us to ask the Lord what it is we need this week. I’ve been quite stressed lately about what to do after the race. So I asked specific questions about how I can still stay present, but also look forward to what He has in store for my future. Since beginning the race I’ve learned the Lord is always moving and always working, but often times we go through seasons that we think He isn’t speaking to us. The past few weeks I’ve known He is speaking, but I haven’t been able to hear anything. I’ve started going to other people asking them to intercede for me and ask Him what I should do. I got some things from squadmates and often times it’s things I’ve already learned. Why?
Tonight when asking for guidance for debrief and staying present I was taken back to my first debrief. One I never got around to writing about, but one so worthy of telling.
Imagine with me our first debrief, fresh out of America, scared to death of what was in store this year. We have a session on hearing from the Lord, why we may not be hearing from the Lord, and are we even listening to the Lord. At this point, I had very little knowledge of how much the Holy Spirit could use me. We begin an activity on listening prayer. Half of our group lined up and closed our eyes while the other half came to stand in front of us in no particular order. I had no idea who was in front of me. My heart was about to burst out of my chest. Our coach stopped to pray for us before we began saying, “Father, don’t let the enemy use this against them”. That was for me. If I didn’t hear anything, that was confirmation that I couldn’t hear from the Lord as others could. I took a deep breath and began to pray. “Lord, I may only have faith the size of a mustard seed right now, but you can use that. What is it that you want me to share with the person in front of me?”. For a split second, I tried to guess who was in front of me (I still giggle at myself for trying). So I said what I felt the Holy Spirit was saying. It was very little. A generic bible story and a word or two. I apologized immediately for having a lack of things to share, but when I opened my eyes my squadmate was in tears. The Holy Spirit spoke through me. I don’t know whether my teammate or I needed this more. That day I learned that it’s not by my power or performance, but by the Holy Spirit inside of me.
This was just the reminder I needed. I have been hearing from the Holy Spirit, but I don’t always like to listen! When I ask for others to intercede for me and I get things back that I already knew it’s because I heard them myself. What a wonderful reminder that I don’t need to look to others for guidance when I have a God that wants me to come to Him for everything, and something as powerful as the Holy Spirit residing in me and speaking to me in new ways every day.
“But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.”
??John? ?14:26
