Hello blog readers,
Sorry I haven’t been doing such a good job of blogging lately. This past month my squad and I were in this All Squad Blogging War against all the other squads on the field. We were given a list of prompts to choose from and write about them. The squad with the most blogs by the end of the deadline would win an extra $500 reward to use at their final debrief. Sadly, my squad didn’t win, but I think we were runner up.
?This past month has been one of the hardest months on the Race. I’m tired. Stretched thin. Irritable. And wanting healthy foods again. In the past two weeks two people have left from the race, back to the states, and for very different reasons which was/still is hard on the squad. Three weeks ago, one of our squad leaders and one of our sqaudmates were put in the hospital because of a mosquito bite, giving them Dengue fever. Thankfully, they are both okay and are back to their normalhealthy selves.
?Cambodia has been the hardest country, hands down. Physically hard. Spiritually hard. Mentally hard. And especially emotionally hard. Everywhere you look there is a need for help. There’s need for help on every corner you turn on. People begging for food and money. People begging just to be seen and heard, and that’s the biggest one of all. A day hasn’t gone by in this country when I wasn’t asked by someone to give them attention. Whether it be by a beggar asking for money. A little kid grabbing my hand with theirs, molding my hand into a fist. Leaving my pointer finger out so that they could use my pointer finger to push up against their belly so that I can feel and see how hungry they are. Sometimes people will actually walk up to you and say,
“Sister, you don’t care, you don’t care about me or see me.”
That’s the one that breaks me the most.
People here have looked into my eyes and have said
“Sister, you don’t care, you don’t care about me or see me.”
?The devil has done a damn good job at getting people to believe that they are not seen, heard or cared about here. And that breaks me more than anything. Last weekend I had a few extra days off, so I took a 5-day trip to Siem Reap. I got to hang out with the other ten girls from the squad that live there. On the third day of my trip, Aydin, Julia and I went to go see Angkor Wat. As soon as we walked onto the temple grounds we made friends with Agent 007, James bond, master of coffee.
His job was to advertise his little cafe and get people to eat breakfast there. Soon after talking with him, four more people swarmed us begging and asking us to eat at their place. It became very overwhelming, and made us feel a lot of guilt if wehad said yes to one of them and not the others. By the end of our time there we decided not to get food, but to buy a coffee for our tuk tuk driver. We tried to be discreet about buying the coffee because we didn’t want to offend anyone, but that didn’t happen. Agent 007, James bond, master of coffee saw us leaving with a coffee not from his shop. He walked up to us and said,
“Why didn’t you pick me, I thought we were friends.”
Immediately after hearing that I felt the Lord tug at my heart. I so badly wanted 007 to know that he is picked, daily. It might not be from customers, but he will always be picked by God. He isn’t unseen by God and he Isn’t unheard either.
?So many people here feel the same way as 007, which breaks my heart. I’m not just talking about in Cambodia. This happens all the time in the States, but I don’t think we realize it. ?People are constantly wanting to be seen, heard, and wanted. It just looks different depending on which country you’re in. In Cambodia, there is a physical need. People are starving and have no homes, they are constantly being looked over. They crave the idea of having tangible things. They have a physical need such as food and a place to sleep. They want people to care for them and see where they are at, and meet them where they are.
In the states people have everything at the tip of their fingers, except for the ability to be vulnerable. In the states, I don’t see many people asking for things necessarily. I see them using alcohol and drugs to escape what they’re actually dealing with. Not feeling seen or having the ability to fully be themselves.
?Cambodians are starving in hunger and the lack of attention. Americans are drowning in isolation and the lack of comfortability with themselves. Both are craving to be seen and heard but express it in very different ways. Cambodians will vocally voice that they feel unseen and unloved, American’s shove their feelings down and numb out with some kind of substance or a busy schedule, so that they don’t have to “deal with it.” I’m not saying this is how it works for everyone, but this is what I have observed.
?Bottom line is, wherever you go you will find people craving to be seen and heard. But the only thing that will fill them up in a healthy way, is through Jesus.
? To whomever reads this, I encourage you to look for those who are often not seen, because in reality, they actually want to be found. Once you do find them, be in prayer on their behalf and if you feel lead, talk to them about the King who loves and cares for them.
ON A DIFFERENT NOTE
I only have 9 days left on the race before I’m home!
1 day left of ministry
3 days left in Cambodia
4 days in Thailand
2 days of traveling back to the states.
It’s crazy to think that my 9-month trip is now down to 9 days left.
See y’all so soon, Chase.
