Happy New Year’s Eve!
This time last year I was sitting in my aunt Kim’s (Mim’s) house drinking coffee and talking about all the adventures I wanted to go on. I talked about traveling everywhere, camping, road trips, learning how to bush craft and what I wanted spiritually out of 2018. As I was sitting at her kitchen island I began to really think on what I wanted out of the upcoming year. I remembered all the (ish) I had gone through in 2017 and really wanted 2018 to be a better year. In 2017, I had had gone through heartbreak, loss of friendships, not appreciating my worth, hardship in family, and the list goes on. After reflecting on how crappy 2017 was, I made it my goal (New Year’s resolution) to travel as much as I could so I wouldn’t be stuck in one place. I made it my goal to show everyone that I’m okay and don’t need friends or a boyfriend in order to have a ‘good time’. I made it my goal to leave the place that I grew up in so that I could ‘find myself’ while possibly sharing the gospel, and I made it my goal to get over my broken heart.
As I’m writing this, and as you’re reading this I can only think of how bitter and hurt I was in this time of my life.
Not long after coming to the realization of what I wanted out of 2018, I asked my aunt for a map, went to the fire place to pick some greenery off of the mantle, made myself another cup of coffee and sat back down at the kitchen island to rearrange all the things I gathered so that I could put them in a cute Pinterest-y way and post it on Instagram along with my New Year’s resolution.
This is the picture that I posted on this day last year.
Sadly 2018 was just as crappy as 2017 if not worse; however, I wouldn’t have changed it even if I could have. This time last year I was asking God to take me away from all of the pain I was in, I asked Him to allow me to travel and learn more about myself, I asked Him to heal my heart because I was tired of all the weight and pain I was carrying. Fast forward to today. I’m currently living in a different country, overwhelmed with peace and joy, no longer suffering from heartbreak. I know that I am worthy of love because God says so. This time last year I was so pissed at God. I remember asking Him to fix me by taking feelings away instead of asking Him what I’m supposed to be learning through the pain I was feeling.
I’m so thankful God allowed me to go through nearly two years of hardship so that I could come out on the other side knowing and loving Him more. The crazy part out of all of this is, I asked God to remove all the pain I had. I thought by me asking for healing He would heal me at the beginning of the year, but instead He did it on the last month and day of the year. God answered my prayers, but in His way. Not mine. Not too long ago I wrote a blog about Gods timing. In it I wrote about how I was asking God to take me away that year to do missionary work on September 12. Fast forward a year on September 12 of this year I left with the world race to Ecuador.
I’m learning that when you ask something from God it doesn’t go unnoticed. We have this idea that when we ask for something from God He’s going to give it to us right away in the way we think we should receive it, when in reality we need to give our desires to God and leave it at that. We need to leave it in His timing and in His way because it’s so much better than ours. Yeah, it’s hard and it does not seem comfortable but it’s what we need.
This morning I was reading in Hebrews and came across a few verses that I think will help when you find yourself going through hardship as it did for me. In Hebrews 5: 7-10 it talks about Jesus being the High priest but He wasn’t born that way. He would have to go through hardship such as offering “prayers and appeals with loud cries and tears to the one who was able to save him from death”. In verse 8 (which is my favorite one) it goes on to say “Although he was the Son, he learned obedience from what he suffered”. In verse 10 it says He was declared the high priest by God himself. The reason I love this so much is Jesus had to go through hard things in order to be given the amazing gift of obedience. Without suffering and hardship Jesus wouldn’t have learned obedience. Y’all, that applies to us! If we didn’t go through hardship and trials of pain we wouldn’t know how to walk in the faith of obedience.
So how do we walk through being obedient when we are faced with hard trials?
We gain endurance by persevering. In Hebrews 10: 36 it says “For you need endurance, so that after you have done Gods will, you may receive what was promised.” Nowhere in there does it say God gives us endurance so that we can make it through hardship in order to receive a prize. No, it says God gives us endurance so that we can carry out what He asks of us, and after walking in the faith of obedience He will give us the good He has promised us.
Hebrews 12: 1-13 is entitled ‘The Call to Endurance’.
Out of all of the verses I already talked about these are my favorite.
In Hebrews 12:1 It states that “We need to run with endurance for the race that lies before us is long”. When I think about the word endurance it makes me think of running. When I’m running long distance, I have to tell myself to slow down, be patient and to not rush or else I’ll give out before I get to my end goal. That’s how our faith is. Our faith is forever going to be a long distance run. Like I said before I have to tell myself to slow down, be patient because I will eventually get to my end goal. God tells us the same stuff all the time!
He tells us to slow down, be patient, you will get there. We forget that our journey with God isn’t a sprint it’s a marathon, and marathons require endurance.
Verse 7
“Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons and daughters. For what son and daughter is there that a father does not discipline?”
Because of suffering (which can also be looked at as discipline) we get the privilege to learn how to go through endurance which later transforms us to be able to walk into the calling God has on our life.
Because God is our father, like an earthly father when his child needs direction which sometimes has to come from disciple its uncomfortable and doesn’t feel good. The past two years God has been disciplining me by allowing me to go through suffering so that I can learn how to go through endurance, all in order for me to be able to walk through the faith of obedience.
If I were not disciplined out of the love of our father I would not be where I am today. Thank God for teaching me what It means to go through suffering, experiencing what endurance feels like and the gift of obedience.
I would encourage anyone who just read this blog to open their bible to Hebrews and read the bible verses I have talked about. I believe there is power in opening up a bible and reading the truth straight from the pages.
Hebrews 5: 7-10
Hebrews 10: 36
Hebrews 12: 1-13
Thank y’all so much for reading my blogs, and Happy New Years!
“The gift of obedience does not come without the trials of suffering and endurance”
-Chase Robinson
