This past Sunday I preached in our little church.
Since being in Kampot for the last 2 months my team has taken turns on who preaches in church each Sunday. When first coming here I asked the lord to prepare me to preach before I left because I really wanted to do it but public speaking is a big fear and didn’t see myself ever doing it unless something crazy happened. Well…something crazy has happened in these last two months and that is how much the lord has grow me and taught me in this season. On Thursday night my team was discussing who would be preaching on Sunday and everyone looked at me because it was the last opportunity to preach before we would have to leave and they all knew that. With a pit in my stomach and in denial that I would actually be preaching on Sunday I didn’t think much of it. That night I was talking to Paige about what the lord is teaching me and there was a list of things one of them being how the lord is teaching me about my worth in him. Then Friday night I was talking to Corbyn and somehow we ended up talking about how the lord has been showing me how he loves me and calls me worthy just the way I am. How cool is that!!
With lots of uncertainty and panic about how I was going to prepare a sermon in one day Corbyn encouraged me to spend the day asking the lord what he wanted to speak through me. we spent Saturday in town so I didn’t have much personal time to intentionally sit alone with the lord and and talk to him…so later that day I was feeling extremely stressed and anxious about what I was going to do, trying to remember that the lord knows how much time I have to prepare and that he has full control. So later Saturday I was talking with one of my team mates Cindy about my frustrations and how i had so many things on my brain that I could maybe talk about but I really wanted to make sure that it was from the lord and not what I wanted. Then she confidently told me that the lord was saying I needed to speak on worthiness. I sat in awe and excitement knowing that the lord had just confirmed it and this time I was completely sure that it was from the lord. Somehow I found time to sit in a little cafe and write down all the things that the lord was teaching me through my struggle of not feeling worthy. Then Sunday morning woke up early to spend time with Jesus asking him to speak through what I am learning. Goshy did Jesus blow my mind. I can’t even tell you what I ended up saying on stage because after walking off I could remember and Corbyn always says when that happens you really know that it was from the lord because they were his words and not your own.
But I walked into it all wanting to talk about how I was broken and felt unworthy to be called by the lord but because of the father and his salvation he gives us a choice to choose into him and what he has for us and because of him he calls out brokeness beautiful and we are able to walk in so much newness with him!! I then used examples of people from the Bible that were broken. And how the lord used ordinary people for extraordinary things And how he continues to do just that!!
