Why be afraid or tremble when He is my fortress, my light and my salvation.
Listening to the Lord and learning to walk boldly in whatever He calls you to do or asks of you is not always easy, sometimes seemingly impossible. It has officially been one week here in Quito, Ecuador and I’m trying to make this impossible task at points, possible at all times. As for this it has led me to reflecting on one of the most recent things the Lord called me to do. Calling me in a test of my seriousness in saying yes to Him, I said no way. But that’s not even where this story ends, its where it really begins.
Launch 2018, Atlanta, Georgia. The first night of worship, the room full of racers and parents, with mine right beside me. In this time I chose not to hold anything back in praise to my Father, as to my initial thoughts of worshiping standing next to them, because of what I thought they would think. This indefinitely began stirring the Holy Spirit inside of me which I knew would lead to me doing something I wouldn’t want to do at first thought. He then gave me words to pray over one of my best friends who is pretty much the main reason I am on the race, also who is going back on the field to team lead for another squad. I boldly obeyed and immediately went and found him and let the Lord speak the words He gave me. I have obeyed the Lord in the same way before and always received a sense of fulfillment. Although fulfillment not for myself but for Him. But nope, nothing this time, which I knew meant He had more for me to do. Eyes closed He then gave me two words that I was unsure of what to do with. Opening my eyes to a direct line between the heads and shoulders of all the parents and racers in front of me to a clear view of the stage from close to the back of the room, I knew exactly what those words were for.
“Haha okay God nope.”
Is exactly what came to my head. I don’t what I’m supposed to do with these words, I don’t know where they came from. What. Why. How. The three questions completely and utterly badgering on my mind at this time. I looked up the verse relating to the words He gave me “Be still” which brought me to Psalm 46:10, which says “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the Earth.” Then he brought the question onto myself, “am I in this for just the little parts of me, or the big ones too?”
“Shoot Lord you are so good and so right but I’m still lost.”
I told myself, but in my confusion and state of mind where I was completely lost I made my way towards the stage which felt like the longest walk for the distance it was. At the stage not knowing what to do next, what I was gonna say, why I really was about to be up there, just hoping whoever’s attention I got to ask to come up would say no. Well the piano player turned his direction towards me, which I responded that the Lord gave me something He wanted me to share He got the attention of the singer and immediately the microphone was in my face to take a hold of and speak on something that I only had two words and a short verse for. Still knowing in my mind that there was more needed to be said that I was clueless about, not even knowing what the things He gave me meant. Stepping up on the stage turning around to what felt like a thousand people but in reality was around 400 parents and kids, I felt so breathless. Yet when I started to speak the words that were meant from my Father to be shared came out. Speaking His words exclaiming in this season of anxiety, stress, unknowingness, and worry; a reminder to be still. To be still and know that He is God. Also the second part of the verse which I didn’t know about talks on the Lord being exalted among the nations, and in the Earth which is just so fruitful in this time for parents especially as their kids travel to different nations and across the Earth and a reminder to racers for what we all are doing. I truly could see peace across the many different faces in the room from the words that the Lord spoke through me, to be still. It was so so obvious that it all was straight from Christ.
This was me for the first time entirely stepping out of my comfort zone to do something that I could never imagine myself doing, and doing it without knowing. Allowing myself to act while being uncomfortable, scared and lost. Yet none of it was able to be accomplished without the Lord, I just allowed Him to use me in the way I have prayed about for quite some time now.
Walking in boldness knowing that through His strength the unthinkable was achievable. While listening in stillness not knowing what exactly to do but trusting that He would show me through patience and obedience. I pray this may be a spark to all who read this to ignite the Holy Spirit in you learning to walk in something new and to listen in a way you may not have thought possible.
