In just 10 days, I already feel like so much has already been done in my life. Lifelong friendships have already been established, barriers have been broken, and I have grown so much spiritually. When you get away from your cultural norms and put down your phone, there is so much potential for growth. This is why I think being a Christian in the United States can be so difficult because we are just surrounded by so many distractions in our privileged lifestyle. When your daily routine involves 5:30 am bucket showers, using porta-potties, diverse meals (some better than others), tent sleeping, uncomfortable simulations, lack of sleep, constantly sweating, the list goes on and on, you are certainly away from your tedious lifestyle. All of this was essential to getting away from familiarity to make something new. I appreciated it all.
I felt like I had multiple themes during this time that the Lord worked with me on. The first one was when I was arriving at training camp I could not help but think that I was unworthy to be included in something so great. I felt like past mistakes that I put myself in separated me from everyone else going into this. That was quickly put to rest as I begin to meet and talk to others on my team. The realization came that we are all broken people who have made mistakes, after all, it’s part of our human nature to sin. Some testimony’s being a little more eventful than others, but still, the mindset of acceptance and loving one another no matter what we had been through was such a blessing. Ultimately, I had to learn to forgive myself for everything and learn to let it go. Forgiveness will never change your past but it will change your future. Every one of our stories is beautiful in their own unique way, because they have made us who we are today and can be used to relate to others in so many ways.
Something that really stuck with me was a quote that came from a South African speaker Deon Vanstaden, which was “Make me, not give me”. This one blew me away. I think it just comes naturally for us to always be asking God for something on our terms. Rather than having this mindset, be willing to surrender yourself to Him. Which means you are willing to go through whatever is necessary to be who He needs you to be. He didn’t waste much time thinking about that one. Before I knew it, I was being called out of my comfort zone to pray for strangers and give words to larger groups. I had multiple team leaders speak to me that I need to be willing to step out and express what the Lord is sharing with me and to not waste the leadership ability that He has blessed me with. This is one way I grew significantly during camp was speaking and giving guidance to groups when I felt like He was needing me to be His voice. This can be a struggle when you are naturally introverted and would rather think than speak. One team leader specifically told me to not hold back from this leadership role because it would be wasting the fruit that God has given me which would be detrimental to the Kingdom. Talk about some motivation.
Another theme that I felt like He put on my heart was “Be Still”. I have always been one of those people who is constantly thinking of what the next step should be by always having a plan or being on a specific schedule. Although, yes, this can be great at times but can also have negative consequences when needing to focus on the present. Rather than focusing on what was going to happen next or looking forward to being back home, I concentrated on what was happening at the moment. This was so crucial for me being able to absorb lots of material and being able to listen to the Holy Spirit. As I improved at being still as the week went on I felt such peace over me. This peace brought a sense of comfort with it even in this uncomfortable environment. With peace came complete acceptance as well as pure joy along with it.
Now let me take some time to brag about the boys. Starting with our team leader, Davante Jones, he is such an amazing man of God that sets such a great example. He knows how to listen and relate, but at the same time knows when to give wisdom that comes straight from scripture. The guys on my team I will be working with closely over the next year are hand-picked and I am convinced. We all are blessed with our own unique abilities, but this makes us so effective as a group. We all come from different backgrounds from all over the US, but share the same passion for spreading the Gospel. I had to learn to depend on these guys too, which was difficult at first. I have always been somewhat of an independent person that likes things to be done my way but that had to be put down. Our leadership team made sure to break down that roadblock. Halfway through our man hike, they decided that I could no longer use my legs to which my team literally carried me up half a mountain. This forced me to be dependent and although I hated the role, I understood that during this next season of my life I cannot do it all myself in my own walk. I am going to have to depend on this group of guys, as well as them depending on me. The bromance is real.
Now that I have talked about my team in the group, this paragraph is for the rest of our squad. There is about 47 of us total (I think), and our group is remarkable. I talked about the guys earlier but the women in our group deserve the same recognition. They are all beautiful in their own ways. Although I did not get to know every one of them personally, I am grateful for the ones I did and look forward to building friendships with the rest. One of our main goals as the group of guys this year is to be a Godly example of how men should treat women, because let’s face it the world does a horrible job at this. Since day one this squad has shown such respect and genuine love for one another. An excellent example of this would be when we had an unexpected rain storm in the middle of our cookout as a team, I was one of the unfortunate ones who did not get food before we took off for our tents. But when I came back out there were multiple girls who got into their own personal food to make sure I had dinner for the night. It’s just mind-blowing how we can all be strangers but at the same time family. I am thankful for every single one of them!
The most important part of this week would be when I finally decided to surrender it all to Him. No more standing on the edge halfway in and halfway out, it was time to dive completely in. I had the opportunity to publicly show in front of my new brothers and sisters in Christ the decision to give my life back to Him. It was such an amazing experience that will stay with me forever. All the weight of past condemnation has been taken off me, and man do I feel good.
To wrap all this up, or try to anyway. When you put hundreds of people together that share the same passion for spreading the Love of Jesus to nations the atmosphere is just unbelievable. I have never experienced the presence of God like I did when I was roughing it in Gainesville, Georgia. I was challenged emotionally, physically, and spiritually but the result was life changing. I am so grateful for the friendships I made with with everyone. I am filled with such excitement when thinking that launch is almost a month away! If God could do this much in just 10 days, I cannot imagine what will be done in 9 months…
