Rest Assured. To just stay in the kitchen.
A couple days ago the atmosphere felt different to me. My spirit was kicking so to speak. I asked the Lord about it and He pretty much said buckle up buttercup. And, let me tell you, it was a good thing I heeded His word.
The question ‘Lord, what should I do next” jumped out at me as it entered the air. “Lord, can I ask?” “Yes” No way, six months of waiting to ask this exact question and now I get to ask. I got excited and went up to grab my communion bread. “Lord, I’m nervous.” “You’ll hear me, just ask.” A couple of heart beats pass and I ask. Next thing I know, I am on the ground in worship, a tearful and glorious praise. The funny part to this, though, is my brain tried to pick up the vision. Yeah, I can do this and call this person, yeah I got it. Como? No no, it is the Lord’s and I kindly returned it back to him and thanked Him for the invite into His plan. Not. Mine. To. Hold. rn.
So also, He was far from done. Kate, my squad’s mentor, told me I had been on her heart for a minute now. “What do you need prayer for?” Wait, wait, I have no clue. What is she seeing in the Spirit? Then, Mae comes to pray for me minutes later. And I’m like hello what’s on me that I cannot see? The Lord kindly reminds me to go talk to Mae (a task I was putting off because I did not have insight as to why). Before I could even get to her, she approaches me and says “Hey, wanna stay back from ministry and chat?” I was like well of course, “I was supposed to come find you.”
After feeling very seen and heard, we went into a time of listening prayer. The words rest assured came out. And, then, a picture came.
There were some pools and a DIY spigot composed of mental scraps. The scraps had words on them like leader, kind, perfect, right. Words that I grabbed at and made into a channel for my shallow pools. I went from pool to pool, emptying them. My anointed and favored life provided many a man-made pool to choose from. But then, I look behind me to see an endless well. I walk over to it and try to put my spigot in it. It falls apart. But how do I get to the point where the well can flow freely?
We moved into a restaurant with a kitchen, where tables needed to be served and cleared. But my instructions were to just stay in the kitchen. I protested, there is so much to do! Just stay in the kitchen. “How will the tables be served?”
I didn’t leave with an answer. What I did leave with, though, was a soft heart and eyes fixed on what Jesus wanted to show me. A walk around to the answer, no direct shots here. Only discovery.
In reality, I was worried that this walk/ discovery would take away from what I was able to pour out onto the squad. Like while I process there is no possible way I can also disciple? Yeah, you guessed it, wrong.
This time of learning to sit in the kitchen rest assured has been beautiful. Also, you prolly guessed it, more full and more overflow than before. Thank you, Jesus.
What a wild day for me.
PS. I have been really honored to discern how to create safe space for my friends. The Lord has grown my love from them. My capacity is being tested and my life stretched. Exactly where I want to be. I have found sacrifice to be better and more joy packed than not doing it. I have been blessed to accidentally spew Holy Spirit often. I have been learning how to be kind and not soft. I have been learning that I have His heart beat. I know that His promises are truth and are trustworthy. I know that those who are hungry get feed. I have been discovering how to say, “God is with you, go in peace.” Oh Lord, develop me in love.
