So, as some of you know, this past week was our Month 1 Debrief. Put simply, debrief is a time to come together as a squad, discuss our time on the field, and refocus our eyes on the Lord and the scope of what he has for us on the trip. At debriefs, our Coaches and our Squad Mentor fly out and meet us. Accommodations are generally nicer than what we are used to on the field, and our budget is a little higher. Along with that, Logistics Coordinators (my job) are responsible for planning debrief locations, events, and paying all expenses. Thankfully, for this first one, leadership stepped in (they had already been to the guesthouse we were staying at) and made my job pretty easy.
So, knowing all of this, I was excited when I hopped on a bus with 50 of my newfound friends to head towards Siem Reap for a week. “This will be nice, a good time to rest and relax”, I thought. After a couple hours in transit, and a couple missed turns, we arrived to the oasis that is Overflow Guesthouse. We were quickly informed that even though each of us had to share a bed with two other people, and that the pool was emptied, we would have A/C, wifi, and 2 awesome meals a day. Now, before the race, that wouldn’t seem like much, but after living for a month without those things, I was stoked. My attitude remained unchanged as we settled in, I was eager to rest and focus on myself for a change.
That first night we arranged for the whole squad to get Tuk-Tuks and go into downtown Siem Reap to see the infamous Pub Street. After grabbing some delicious Gelato (remember this), Mexican Food, and Rolled Ice Cream, we took to the streets looking to get some cool things. We wandered for a while before we decided to cross a bridge into the old-school Night Market. Before crossing, Drew informed me that there would probably be lots of beggars around, so be wary. He was not wrong. As we walked we passed multiple people laying on the bridge buckets out. Among them was a deformed woman and her child, and an old man. I walked right on by. I thought, “I know Jesus loves them, but this week is about us and getting rest. I’ll do it later. They might not be legit anyways.”
We walked around that market for a while, but soon enough it was time to head back. We passed over the bridge, and once again, I passed over every needy person there. I had felt the same about it, but this time, I felt the weight of the Lord’s voice on my chest. “You need to pray for them, Brendan.” At that moment, I saw someone, someone I will never forget.
Glancing ahead, I saw a little boy laying in a stroller. I hardly paused, but as I passed by I noticed that his head was all kinds of messed up. His skull was deformed, and on one side, it stuck up about 4 inches, part of it was exposed through the skin. His legs were as thin as a pencil, and his feet were unnaturally pointed different ways. He lay there motionless next to his caretaker as hundreds of tourists passed him by. It broke my heart. I knew Jesus came to seek out the lost, to find people who were in dire situations and show them love. I knew that we are the light of the world, the salt of the earth, God’s plan A for bringing kingdom in the world. I even knew that I was partnering with generous supporters to travel the world, loving on people and declaring the good news. But I still didn’t stop, something kept me from so much as saying hi, let alone praying for this little child of God.
I left feeling sick, disgusted. I had never seen anything like that before. How can this be someone’s life? As I got in the Tuk-Tuk and headed home, my disgust at the situation turned into disgust at myself. What if the Lord had brought me here just to show love to that little boy? How could I call myself a believer and refuse to reach out to people who need Jesus the most? I got home and sat in anguish.
Now I’d like to pause here. As I’m writing this, I realize it sounds kind of crazy to me. Back home, and for the majority of my life, struggles with sin looked a lot different. Be it lust or selfishness, conceit or jealous, I always felt tangled up. In my past, I felt I had bigger problems in myself than an unwillingness to go pray for strangers. But as I have pressed into the Lord more than ever before in recent months, I have discovered that Jesus brings so much healing, and still wants us to do more than we could ever imagine, to do more than he even did. So that said, know that this story is not about me, it’s about God. I am not worthy of anything on my own, but with God, I’m doing and feeling things I never thought I would. Nonetheless, everything I’m writing is just the truth of my heart. I know God expects a lot of us, and I’m just now learning what it means to walk that out.
So anyway, getting home, I finally began to understand what grieving over sin is. It felt like after hanging out with my best friend all day, I slapped him in the face out of the blue. I knew that I had heard a command from my Father, and I straight up ignored it. It was painful. I prayed the rest of the night, and it was the last thing on my mind when I went to bed. It also was the first thing on my mind the next morning. To my further dismay, I found out that one of the girls on my squad had chosen obedience the night before. She had made the choice I couldn’t, and she prayed for that little boy. It was awesome to hear in the perspective of the Kingdom, but I knew I wanted to be a part of God’s story in Cambodia.
So, I declared to myself that I would not let opportunities like that slip by. And, as it turns out, the Lord was faithful. A couple days later, I had set up a 1 on 1 with my squad coach, Drew. To no one’s surprise, we went to the gelato place, called Gelato Lab. After having a wonderful conversation and demolishing a brioche gelato sandwich (surprisingly amazing), I noticed a sweet café style motorcycle (a café bike is one that has been stripped down of extra weight and luxury). Heading inside I spotted the owner, who I quickly found out was Italian. I asked him about his bike and that lead into a full-blown conversation about motorcycling, mountain biking, skiing, and then eventually part of his life story. This isn’t too hard, I thought, this is loving people. After that, my friend Christian came out, and before saying goodbye, the owner said he could give Christian a deal with a tattoo shop, and that he had a mountain bike that I should check out. What a cool exchange.
So that interaction got me started on this new way of loving people that carried onto the rest of the week. I won’t go into detail about each interchange, but among the people we met and/or got to pray with was a man who had lost his arms during the Khmer Rouge, a beer brewer from Arizona, a skateboarder from Japan who also lived in Grand Junction, and old Khmer man who was walking with a cane, an incredibly talented local artist, another lady who worked at the gelato shop, and finally, yes, that little boy we passed up on the first day. Each interchange began with the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and a simple yes from me or my teammates. God was working in each conversation, and every single time we were met with massive smiles and gracious hearts. There was so much love and joy with each successive act of obedience, and everyone on my team has walked away different. And just to sweeten the deal, Christian got a sweet deal on an awesome tattoo, and the owner of the gelato place lent me his mountain bike to use for the rest of my time in Cambodia! If you don’t know how much that means to me, go read my blog about racing, God is so heckin good ya’ll. Wheelie Wednesday lives on!
So, all that said, the Lord is faithful. Sometimes he puts us in hard situations when we have to choose comfort or obedience. Sometimes we choose wrong, but no matter what, there is forgiveness and redemption. And you know what, even though it’s hard to say yes, it is so worth it in the end, you have no idea where God might lead. So I’m taking that yes into these next few months of ministry, updates will be incoming.
As always, I want to say thank you to everyone supporting me financially or in prayer! You have had such an impact in partnering with me to bring the Kingdom, I can’t wait for more. Let me know your thoughts, and share how I can be praying! I’ll try to get better at responding to comments, but I have been reading them.
