As most of you know, mountain biking is a big part of my life. A quick scroll through my instagram, or casual chat with any of my friends will prove. I have been riding bikes since I was four years old. Be it just for fun in the neighborhood, in the mountains with my family, or at the bike park with my friends, it was always a great way for me to have fun and push myself. And for a long time, it was just that.
Come junior year of high school, I decided to join the mountain biking team at my highschool (I know, cool right). The discipline I was walking into was cross country, and entailed 90-minute races in which the rider would battle through a pack of 100 riders or more up and down technical terrain until a certain number of laps were completed. In short, it was an absolute sufferfest. Not realizing this, I showed up to the first practice without an hour of intentional training under my belt, and got destroyed. I battled through the first season, constantly pushing my fitness and skills. I suffered a lot, but was also able to improve a lot.
In the summer before my senior year, I decided to try a new discipline, enduro. Enduro racing involves long days in the saddle which consist of brutal untimed pedal climbs, followed by technical high speed timed downhill runs. After completing my first few races, I realized how demanding it was, but it still got me excited for what was in store. I went back to school my senior in much better shape for the season, and did much better, rising to be one of the better riders on my team. I raced in more enduros that summer, and even tried some downhill exclusive racing before and during my first year of college.
Racing these past few years has no doubt had a big impact on my life, and has helped shape my perception of the world, as well as foster meaningful relationships. Perhaps one of the greatests gifts that biking has given me was time to bond and grow with my best friend Christian. We met in high school as he was recovering from a massive motocross accident. I ended up learning he was set to be one of the best dirt bike riders in Colorado before the crash put an end to his dreams. Bonding over a love of two wheels, we began riding bikes together just for fun. Senior year, I was able to coax him into racing with the high school, and we raced all the enduros together as well. As I have come to know and love him like my brother, we have been through a lot. We battled through engineering classes together. We struggled with family issues together. We fought through girl dramas together. We tried to figure out faith together. And we lived together. But through all that, mountain biking holds a special place that I think has been a huge contributor to the strength of our friendship, second only to God.
Yet racing goes further than that for me. In terms of my faith, riding and racing bikes has been eye-opening for me. There is so much value in finding opportunities to immerse yourself in God’s Creation. Mountain biking has taken me all over the place, from beautiful secluded mountain tops, to serene flowing rivers, to lush dense forests. I have been able to get a little hint of God’s glory just from getting to ride my bike, and it makes my faith feel real, and tangible. Getting out on a ride gives me periods of respite from the stresses of life, even if just for a moment, to focus on God. It is truly a gift.
More than that, I think aspects of mountain biking heavily mirror the life of a Christian. Take an ordinary up and down the mountain ride for example. The ride will usually start with a climb. To go down, you must first go up right? And to me (and most riders I know), this is the bad part of riding. There is pain, suffering, and exhaustion that takes place on the climb. You need to be able to lock into a zone, and just crank. And granted, occasionally, a quick flat section might come, or perhaps a techy section of trail that is quite fun to clear, but on the whole, climbing is hard, it’s painful. But I tell you what, it is a whole lot easier to push when you know that you have a wonderful, exhilarating descent just waiting for you. As you clear the mountain and drop into your run, you feel this indescribable freedom. Everything fades away, and it’s just you and the trail. And you realize that all the climbing was absolutely worth it, and in fact, the descent is even sweeter because of the suffering. I think life as a Christian is the same.
In Hebrews 12, Paul talks of our lives as a race that we must run with endurance. This running he is comparing life to entails the same sort of suffering that climbing does. LIfe is hard, there is no doubt about that. And yes, there are some good things that can happen in our lives, this would be the flat section of the climb or the techy segment, but in an eternal perspective, the best is yet to come. We can live this life all out, and push it as hard as we can now, knowing full well that there is an amazing descent just around the corner, heaven. As we collapse into the doors of the Kingdom, exhausted, we will know that our labor in the Lord was not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58). Any part of that place will be far better than anything before. Yet the grind is necessary, and makes the life even more rewarding, just as the descent of a ride is made sweeter by the suffering of the climb.
Yet given all of this, mountain biking is not all good. Over the years, both my body and wallet have taken heavy tolls on account of racing. Between training and racing, I have been victim to countless injuries, including scrapes and bruises, road rash stretching straight from my arm to my waist, a separated shoulder, and broken elbow, just to name a few. Furthermore, I have had to heavily invest in entry fees, travel, bikes, gear, and components. I have had to deal with maintenance and upgrades, and have been through well over 5 different bikes to best keep up with the rapidly changing technology of the mountain bike industry. From aluminum cross country hardtails, to long travel carbon enduro bikes, I’ve been through it all. I have worked at bike shops to try to get a discount when I can, and have had to replace a lot of broken parts. At various points in the last few years, especially during race season, tithing seemed impossible, just because I was up to my neck in biking expenses.
And that brings me to the worst thing that biking has been to me, an idol. Last summer, in the midst of race season, I went through this crazy streak of bad luck. I had injury after injury and mechanical after mechanical. It reached its pinnacle one night in my garage, as I tried mounting my tires to new wheels that had showed up a month late (I cratered the other ones). My cousin was over, and he had lost his father just months prior. I should have been inside with him, showing him the love of his true Father. Instead I found myself focusing on myself, on bikes, in my garage. And as it usually goes with bike maintenance, I was struggling to get the job done. I had a fit of rage, and threw the wheel across the driveway. I felt this crazy angst that I had never had, and hopped in the car and headed into the mountains near my house. I found a spot of the road and sat and prayed. In the silence and in the darkness, I realized that biking had taken over my life. I realize that all my thoughts, all my time, all my money, all my words, and all my friendships were focused on bikes, not God. I confessed to the Lord, took a major step back from the sport, and spent the school year rekindling my devotion to Him.
And that brings me to this summer. I have been fortunate enough to work as an apprentice at a bike company called REEB Cycles in Longmont, Colorado. I have been able to participate in the actual building of bikes, and have developed cool relationships as well. Through a coworker, I was able to get an amazing deal on a top of the line 2018 enduro bike for the season. Heading out of school, I wasn’t entirely sure about racing for the summer. I knew my trip was coming up, and figured it would require more of me. But I figured the deal on the bike was too good to pass up, so I decided to give one enduro race a try with Christian in New Mexico. We had never done that race before, and I heard horror stories of how difficult it had been in recent years, but we, in true mountain biker fashion, “sent it” anyway.
We got to the camp two days before the race so that we would be able to pre ride all the courses before race day. Even before we began riding, I was terrified by the crazy New Mexico heat. The first day of riding went by, and the second day we got up early to get going. After a brutal climb to stage two, we dropped in with some friends. Immediately I asked myself “What did I get myself into?” After conquering a long section of incredibly steep loose dirt, out of nowhere I went over the bars, landing in a tree. “Typical,” I thought. But I got up and cranked onto stage 3. In that run I went down once early after clipping a rock, and again after hitting a tree later on. It was only practice and I had been having an awful time. Going back to camp, I did not want to race, let alone pre ride the last stage. I sat in the van in silence for about an hour before opening my Bible to Romans 5. Verses 1-5 hit me like a brick: “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
From reading that passage, I knew two things. First, I have peace with Christ. Sitting there in the camp, that peace felt so sweet, so real. I realized that there is nothing more that I have to do to receive peace with Christ. He loves me as I am, even when I suck at mountain biking, even when I can’t perform like I want to. Unlike any other relationship, there is nothing I can do to win His approval, I already won it. Christ is truly enough for me, and more than enough for me than biking will ever be. Second, there is value in suffering. This is the part I did not want to see. Sitting in the camp, I truly wanted to give up, I wanted to leave the race. I felt scared, exhausted, and in over my head. But then I realized the beauty of the gospel. Because of Christ, our suffering is never in vain. Tribulation > perseverance > character > hope. I set it in my mind, I would race, and only by the grace of God would I finish. I would do it to share in his suffering and to build my character, and nothing else. I told Christian, and we went out to do stage 4. The next day, before hopping on my bike, we said a prayer, and we were off. I set out fully expecting for my legs to be wrecked, but I started pedaling and made it up the first transfer. And God showed up. I made it through the day, racing the most difficult trails I head ever seen, and finished without any major crashes or mechanicals. It was one of the biggest accomplishments of my life, and God moved a lot.
On the drive home I had a lot of time to think. To think about biking, about God, and about this trip. I repeated over and over 1 Corinthians 10:31 “Whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.” “How is biking bringing glory to God?” I asked myself. Weighing the costs and benefits that I discussed, I realized, if I am going to race, I want to give it everything, and do it as if I’m working for the Lord. I want to put in the work and be able to suffer for a reason.
But then I realized that this is not the time. The biggest, most demanding year of my life is about to start, and it’s gonna take a lot to get ready for that. For one, I do not want to be spending ridiculous amounts of money trying to race while I ask others to support my trip. I don’t want to spend time worrying about performance. And I definitely know I don’t want to get hurt before launch. I know God is going to do amazing things through this trip next year, and I am ready to commit fully to that. In order to do that, in order to surrender more to the Lord, I know that I have to make a sacrifice. At first, I thought that sacrifice was just giving up a year of school to pursue the Lord across the world. But now, it was clear to me, I need to give up racing, at least for now.
It has been about 3 weeks since that moment, and I have not set foot on a bike. I have been constantly seeing God’s grace in my life, and realize that fulfillment comes through Him and not biking. I have been able to catch a breath economically, and have since decided to sell my fancy bike and go back to the basics of what makes biking great again. I have felt so much peace with the decision, and am so excited to keep giving God more and more of me. I wait in anticipation of this trip, and am ready to give all of me. As one chapter of my life closes, I am excited to see the next one opened. I know that sacrifice always seems hard in the moment, but there is truly nothing more life giving than giving your life to God. I am eager to see how He uses that to bring Him glory and I’m curious to see what I can give him next. Every time I have given something up so far, He has given me so much more in return. God is so good guys, beyond all comparison. It’s crazy.
Psalm 31: 21 – “Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me”
