First off…what?! How did we get here and where did the summer go? I promise you it is still May. Yet here we are in August, and as the days pass and this number continues to count down, the realness of everything is finally beginning to sink in. In just 6 days, I will finally get to meet my teammates in person and spend the first of many days together. In 6 days, I will be in training to be a missionary. And now I have some things to confess:
I am getting anxious.
I am getting worried.
There have been a few nights that I didn’t sleep at all because my mind kept me awake with all my to-do lists. Honestly, some days all I have wanted to do was crawl inside a blanket (yes, I know its 80 degrees outside), have a movie marathon, and take a nap. To find quiet within all the crazy. But guys…that’s not real peace. Trying to remedy an anxious mind by hiding is like trying to heal a broken bone with some aspirin. It might pretend to mask the situation for a bit, but you’ll end up causing more problems for yourself.
And that’s where God met me, sitting on my porch early one morning amidst my worry and anxiety about running out of time.
Like me, you have probably heard of the verse Psalm 46:5 “God is within her, she will not fall”. Admittedly, I have never understood why this verse was so popular. I get how it can seem woman empowering and whatnot but I have never resonated with it before. But then I read it in context and well…you’ll see.
This Psalm was written during the time of Kings where many nations were idolizing false gods and fighting for their reign. Meanwhile, Israel went from king to king that had forgotten God and did evil in his sight. They finally had this king Hezekiah that stood by the Lord and honored him. He destroyed idols, rebelled against Assyria (a powerful nation that was against the God of Israel), kept to the Lord’s commandments, and the Lord was with him.
During Hezekiah’s reign, the King of Assyria directly challenged him. He said to all of Judah “Do not let Hezekiah make you trust in the Lord…” He tempted Judah to turn their backs on the God of Israel and to follow him. (seriously take a look at 2 Kings 18-19. This guy goes on for a while.) And Hezekiah mourns. He mourns over the fact that the living God was being mocked and disgraced. So he prays to God, not just for rescue from Assyria but also that God may be known as the one and only true God.
Which brings us back to Psalm 46. This passage is all about how God is a fortress. It highlights how the Earth is unstable. There is so much to fear and be troubled about but, “God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.” And that changes everything. Because this is saying that God is a still presence in the midst of so much change/temptations/heaviness and literally everything. That with God’s help, we will not be ruffled by the hand that life deals us. Five verses later it reads, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the Earth!”.
Guys…it doesn’t say be still and take that nap. Or be still and watch a movie because you’ve had a long day. It says be still, and know that I am God.
God is trustworthy. God fulfills His promises. God is dependable. God is all knowing. God is patient. God can hold you still when nothing else is. God led me to the World Race so I can TRUST that He will get me there. God led me to the World Race and I can DEPEND on him and his provision. God led me to the world race and I can REST knowing that He holds the future. Got led me to the World Race and even though I worry about the details God is PATIENT and he is not restricted by my daily task list.
I will not listen to the voice that causes me to worry. That voice is nothing less than the voice of Assyria telling Judah to not trust in the Lord.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask of imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”
– Ephesians 3:20-21
I will listen to the voice and the promises of God. I will live to serve and glorify him so that he may be exalted. Because the world tries to overshadow God. And instead of saying yes to the world I choose to say yes to God.
So here is my yes:
yes to an 11-month mission
yes to leaving everyone I love
yes to choosing joblessness over stability
yes to entering the unknown with strangers
yes to a newfound dependence on others
and yes to always continuing to say yes
Today I encourage you to discover an obedience in your life that God is calling you towards however big or small, scary or secure. Today I invite you to say yes with me.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this!
