over the last 7 months i’ve had to make a lot of choices. some big and small choices, choices that would impact the rest of my life, choices in ministry and so on.
first and foremost: coming on the race was a HUGE decision. it was not a choice that was made overnight. honestly, i was coming on the race because a friend of mine was also going so i knew i would be comfortable, but then she informed me that she would not be coming and immediately i wanted to call my mentor and tell her i wasn’t going, but i felt really uneasy about that. so i made the decision to step out of my comfort zone (Taylor Ridge, IL) with 40 STRANGERS for 9 months..i’m still in awe that it’s actually happening.
second: LEAVING home!!!!! WHAT?! i thought moving ONE. HOUR. away to college was ‘moving out’ L O L!! leaving was really hard for me. i obviously knew i wouldn’t be seeing anyone for 9 months, i knew i was leaving my brother who was going through a divorce and on top of that who has a “rare” immune deficiency disease who could be hospitalized and scheduled for surgery the next morning (i put “rare” because what the heck is RARE in the Kingdom of God?!), i left knowing that my other brother was having a though time with different things- school, having a child, working all the time and struggling in other areas. i also left and feeling like i was ‘giving up’ on my dad because i tried so hard to get him to come to church and to have a relationship with the Lord, and i knew i left my best friend (my mom hehe)— her shopping buddy was gone, her road trip partner was gone, her favorite child (aka me) was leaving, and i also left my most precious humans: Landon and Chloe. BUT i left and took a step into the deep waters but God placed a rock for me to step onto. i got onto the field and said “okay God, i surrender everything at home to You” and wow, that changed a lot of things
month 1/2: i made the choice to stay on the race. the first 2 months in particular i was the MOST homesick. if you know me at all you pretty much know that my family means more to me than anything and being away from them is so hard but i trusted that the Lord has a GREAT plan for me on the race, so i pressed in and persevered.
month 3: i really had to choose into ministry. it was hard. this was where we had first gotten to teach english and the devil really fought me on this one. i had to choose into my team, which was simotaniously easy and very hard at the same time. i also had to choose quiet time with the Lord since that was what i desired. our breakfast wasn’t until 9am and every morning i chose to sleep in and maybe even be late to breakfast because i ‘needed’ my sleep but as the day went on i could really tell that sleeping in that extra 30 minutes didn’t help me when i know that quiet time with the Lord would have given me what i needed.
month 4: first month in Guatemala was hard. i THOUGHT i was burnt out and i didn’t want to go to the village, i didn’t want to teach a Bible class at church until 9:30pm, i didn’t want to wake up at 7am for breakfast. when i realized i kept telling myself no to all these things was when i realized that i need to choose in. i told myself “allyson you have 6 months left with the whole squad so you have time to choose into them, give yourself some quiet time.” so i did. i didn’t choose into the squad (and i regret this because we really didn’t have 6 more months together)
month 5/6: during these two months i was either PUMPED for pvt to come, i was stressed planning the Beauty for Ashes event, i was stressed planning the field day we had with the kids in our village, or i was sad that we only had a short time in Guatemala left. it was such an emotional season but i also realized that in all of that i needed to stay present for the last 2 months i had in one of my favorite countries. i really had to choose to be present where i was and not wish my time away.
here we are. month 7. we arrived in cambodia and the first week of ministry was exhausting!! breakfast at 8am, devo at 8:30, leave by 9, get to ministry by 10, teach an english class, go do a Bible study at a house, then come teach 3 more Bible classes then leave by 6 and be at the base by 7. CRAZY. in cambodia i really have to be grateful and not wish my days away. the first week i kept telling myself “this is the end. finish how you want to.“ and completely changed my mindset on the weeks here the second week of ministry was completely different because of my mindset change— i was excited to teach english! these kids are sooo eager to know more and i get to teach them!
here in cambodia we really have to choose into team time because it’s not required every night, we have to choose into ministry, and into each other. it’s so easy to get distracted and do our own things but it’s something that we’re fighting for as a team. choosing joy gets difficult sometimes— it’s hard to choose joy in the heat in the middle of a village an hour away from the city.
i only have 68 more days of the race before i land back on American soil and these will be the BEST 68 days of the race. i’m declaring that, friends! i’m grateful for where i’m at even if i have to fight to love it here. thanks God that i GET to be here and that i GET to serve You in Cambodia!!
thank you for reading my blog! thank you for your love and support— if it wasn’t for you, i wouldn’t be here! see you soon! -Allyson
