I have not heard from God in months. This is what I was saying only a few days ago. This is the reason I haven’t written a blog in two months and this is why I am lost on what my future holds.
Silence is golden. Everyone has heard that saying and and everyone knows what it “means”… I’m annoyed by everyone so be quiet while I do what I need to get done. That’s what I thought about the saying, no more no less. Then I read The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. For those who haven’t read it or don’t know what it is about, it’s about prayer. It is absolutely amazing. Batterson speaks on what it means to truly pray and to “circle” things in prayer. If you haven’t read it, then go read it.
Not only is it about prayer but, he also talks about how to pray and how to trust that God will answer our prayers. But, one of the biggest things I took away is that silence is golden. When we pray, typically it is a lot of asking of God and not much else. We tend to focus so much on ourselves and what we want and what we think we need that we forget to realize God knows what is best for us even when we can’t see it. But, why aren’t we able to see what God wants for us? Why is it so hard for us to trust Him even when we know deep down that what He has for us is greater than anything we could imagine. The running conclusion I have come to is that, personally, I do everything in my power to continuously fill my mind with unimportant crap. This way, I don’t have to listen to God and what He calls me into. I don’t give any time to God to just be silent. I don’t sit in silence and communion with the Lord and just wait. I am so overwhelmed by what there is to do and what I need to accomplish throughout the day in order to make it closer to my goals in life. I don’t remember the last time I decided to sit in silence with the Lord and do absolutely nothing but listen.
That’s what I realized when I was reading The Circle Maker. In all of the time that God has given me on this earth, I have chosen to give so little of it back to Him in silence and waiting in anticipation. One of my new favorite chapters in the Bible is 1 Kings 19. It talks about Elijah and waiting in the cave. He is running from persecution and after two encounters with an angel, Elijah ends up in a cave on Horeb, the mountain of God. He hears the voice of God telling him to wait, for the Lord is about to pass by, so Elijah begins to wait in anticipation for the Lord.
11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
If I were Elijah I would have been losing my mind and freaking out as everything is happening around him. I would have thought God was in the wind right off the bat because that’s where I currently look for Him. I look at the big things happening and I try to see God in it. That isn’t how God works. If I continue to look for God in the wind, earthquake, and fire then I will continually miss His true presence. I will miss when He comes during the silence, in a whisper. Elijah could’ve easily missed the whisper of God but, instead he is waiting in anticipation as all the large things happen. If he was freaking out like I would’ve been doing, then he would’ve missed the whisper.
One other thing that has stuck out to me in the last two weeks is that busyness does not equal productivity. If you go anywhere in Costa Rica you will see that instead of being focused on tasks like the United States is, they focus on relationships. One of my teammates wrote a blog about it (CJ Shiner, Tasks vs. Relationships. Give it a read if you fancy). The biggest thing I’ve noticed that comes out of that is productivity, not only in their to do lists but also in the relationships around them. My team has been doing a lot of manual labor in our ministry, specifically on a construction site. The workers arrive at seven, take a coffee break at nine, lunch at noon, and another coffee break at three, then leave for the day at five. This may seem ridiculous to people reading this back in the States because of all the breaks. In fact they are some of the hardest workers I’ve ever seen, they are also some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. There is a language barrier between our team and them but, we’re still able to laugh and enjoy the days the Lord has given us together. The point I want to make is that even with all their breaks, they are extremely productive and work very hard but still focus on relationships.
. . .
I am currently in Costa Rica and have been for the past two months. I’m with my squad right outside of San Jose and I was able to go to a farmer’s market downtown yesterday with a small group of people. As we walked into the farmer’s market (It had Kombucha, praise the Lord) I saw a man with a shirt that said, “I wish more people were fluent in silence”. I don’t want to assume what the man thought of his own shirt but, for me, it was more of a wake up call. I’m barely fluent in English and it’s the only language I speak. Now it’s time to start practicing my silence. It’s time to start giving my time back to God in silence, to start listening in quiet expectancy. No more constantly filling my time with anything and everything in order to fulfill my goals. It is now time to give it all back to God in order to see His goals for my life and where He wants to use me for His purpose and will. The Circle Maker showed me a lot of things in a different perspective and I was able to see it in a new light for the first time. Costa Rica is a beautiful country but, it will always be in my memory as the place where God reminded me to surrender to His will in quiet anticipation.
P.S. I will now force myself to blog more frequently so everyone back home can keep up with my adventures with God.
– Zach
