We all have wounds, things from our past that have affected us in one way or another. Sometimes those wounds feel so deep and traumatic that there is no possible way for them to heal. This is my story about a wound like that. This happened last month while we were in Ethiopia. One of our worship coordinators asked me to lead a set for a weekly worship time where we all come together and just worship. Throughout the Race I’ve been asked to lead sets here and there for debriefs and things like that, so of course I said yes. For some reason this night felt different and I knew the Lord was going to show up and do some stuff. I prayed about the set and got a song list together and we practiced and got ready for the night. It was going to be an acoustic set with just Jen and I and her playing guitar with everyone sitting on the couches with blankets, just a really intimate time. We said people could sing if they wanted but we both felt like it was supposed to be a time of just sitting in the Presence of God and let Him do what He wanted to do. Towards the end of the set I heard the Lord ask the question “What are you searching for?” So I asked the question and gave space to just sit and ask Him that question and see what He says. After a few minutes I asked people if they would like to share what they heard, and people began to speak, including myself. What I didn’t realize was that the Lord was setting me up for a good ole fashion ugly cry! You know those cries when you can’t catch your breath and you’re just a snotting crying mess? Yeah, one of those cries. I felt it coming and tried to avoid but couldn’t. Did something bad happen? No, I was just overwhelmed at His goodness. I didn’t notice it but throughout the Race and that set in particular the Lord had been healing wounds that I had from singing, playing and leading worship. And He basically said “It is finished” over those wounds that night.
The wounds I had came from years of people telling me my voice was too quiet, or that they didn’t like the tone of my voice, or promises of being able to lead stuff and then having excuses made as to why I couldn’t. These wounds came from people I trusted, but isn’t it funny how the words of those closest to us can sometimes be the most painful? So I came into the Race carrying these wounds and it reflected in my worship, it caused me to be timid, or worried about what people think about my voice, or the way I play an instrument, or the songs I selected. BUT GOD. Just when we think things will never change He comes in and does the most. That night he healed the wounds that had been spoken over me as a worshiper and made me realize that He created me to worship and to help lead those around me in worship. So I got overwhelmed by His goodness, that I have the ability to usher in His presence and for people to have an encounter with Him, and that while I’m leading people are able to hear His voice. So I sat there and ugly cried with no shame at how far He has brought me and the things He has healed me off, for setting me free from the Fear of Man and their opinions, and for being a good good father who delights and loves His children.
So if you find yourself like me, hurt, wounded, and not sure what to do, take courage and know that He will work it out and that no wound is too big or too small for Him to heal and make you a new creation. That you walk in His glory and He delights in calling you His child.
“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
“He heals the wounds of every shattered heart.” Psalm 147:3
Be blessed!
Ty
