For the past week or so this has dominated my thoughts. I came into 2018 ready to go and buckle down and get to work on fundraising, holidays are over, people’s lives are starting to settle down, it’ll go good. Wrong. My fundraisers haven’t taken off, am I getting support? yes, but it’s not the large amounts I thought I was going to get. Now, before you dismiss this as complaining, I’m going somewhere with it, I promise!
This entire month the Lord has been teaching me about Faith, asking me to do things that don’t make sense all to make me trust Him more. I’ve been discouraged, encouraged and downright confused all in the same day, but I know He has a plan. I’ve found myself celebrating my squad mates who are already over half way funded, who have gotten the 5,000 dollar checks, only to find myself being like “Okay Lord, Where’s mine?” If I’m being honest, under that celebration there’s jealousy, and hurt, and a little bit of anger.
After allowing this to be my mindset the conviction started. I’m reading in Romans 12 and come across the verse that I’ve read countless times, but its there that the Lord stops me. The verse is Romans 12:15 “Be happy with those who are happy and weep with those who weep.” He says to me to not grow weary in celebrating others and encouraging other people because He sees it, but that this is all part of His plan to grow and to build my faith. It reminds me of the story of Joseph, his father loves him so he makes him a coat of many colors. His brothers get jealous of this and a dream about them bowing down to him, so they plot to kill him, after deciding not to kill him, they sell him into slavery. This man gets sold as a slave, winds up working in a palace, gets wrongly put in jail, only to wind up becoming one of the top rulers in Egypt. He didn’t have it easy, but he was FAITHFUL.
Conviction is a powerful thing, its there to ground us and bring back to the center of relying on God to do what He does best, being Him. He’s the God of miracles, the God of the impossible, and let’s be honest, He likes to show off so that we adore and love Him even more. So I got rebuked, but it was needed, I was allowing doubt and worry to control me instead of faith and trust in Him being my provider. I’ve since gotten in around $200 dollars in support, which I’m incredibly thankful for. I just want to encourage you to not get discouraged when things aren’t going your way, because He is always working in the background, you just can’t always see it right away.
With all of this said, I’m not leaving The Race, I’ll still be doing training camp in June and leaving in August, I just needed to be vulnerable!
An update on fundraising, I’m closing in on the 1500 dollar mark! I need $5,000 by May and $10,000 by July. Stay tuned for my fundraisers, I have tshirts and Adopt a Box going now, you can find me on facebook and instagram to keep track of those! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all of you who have supported me so far, I’m beyond grateful!
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