Honestly, this ”segment” is funny to me. But the titles git so many lols I guess I’ll just keep it. But I really want to talk about it. I appreciate those of you who have responded to the past two. I want it to be a place where people can feel free to talk about these things and not isolated and separated. Because there is an enemy and he is out there. And he knows that when we are functioning as a body nothing can stop us. He doesn’t sit there plotting how he can make your life miserable through his actions. He’s not dumb. He’s a liar. And he whispers. He takes the truth and he bends it a fraction and let’s you run with it. One if his biggest weapons is division and a huge part of that is shame.
What is the definition of shame? Honestly I don’t know what it is in the dictionary but I googled it.
Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self, withdrawal motivations, and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness.
That’s cool but it’s a lot so let’s make it a little easier. In my opinion, what I’ve been taught and experienced, shame is the feeling that I am bad or wrong. We often get this mixed up with guilt. Guilt is I have done something bad or wrong. Guilt is healthy and it helps convict us. Shame is unhealthy. Shame is saying because of this I AM BAD or WRONG. It’s a false belief. And what it does is it creates this belief and we then begin to isolate because we don’t want people to know who we are because we believe we are bad. So instead of opening up to those around us about what’s going on we isolate and we sit in our shame. Our shame covers us. It eats us. It whispers to us we bad. It tells us we are alone.
I was reading this book the other day, Act Like Men by James Macdonald, and he says that the devil distracts and divides us. He says that “For satans purposes, making you a completely ineffective and ISOLATED follower of Jesus is as much a success as keeping you lost in sin”. What better way to keep someone from spreading the love of Christ than by sinking them into their own crap. He is literally whispering lies to us and we are believing it.
I spent the majority of my life living in shame. Since the age of thirteen I’ve been drinking and doing drugs. I’ve used and lied to women. I was trapped in a porn and sex addiction I couldn’t understand. I was wasting money pretending to go to class but failing out of college. I taught at a middle school and high school teaching children about not using drugs while I was high. My life was a cycle of get high, fake some work, get drunk, make a mess and repeat. At the end of my time in my addiction I could hardly look people in the eyes. The shame that covered me was visible. The way I talked, walked, and even thought was covered in it. If you ever wondered why I could hardly talk or look you in the eyes there it is. My life was a wreck. And at the center of it was a liar. He told me I was a monster. I was alone. Because of what I had done I didn’t deserve anyone or anything. Love, success, joy, not a damn bit of it. And I lived my life that way. I let the shame consume me and isolate me. The biggest lie I believed was that no one could understand me and I was totally alone.
That’s what shame does. It isolates you. It goes to the core of you and it rips you apart. And when you are lower than you ever imagined he leaves. Because you are no longer a threat to him. And then even that has left you.
But there’s hope.
Because the one thing shame can’t do is separate you from the one who loves you. The one who looked into the future and saw your sin before enduring the most painful, humiliating torture and death that he was innocent of. He saw my sin. He saw me and said yup. You got it. You are worth it. And he changed everything. So why are we still letting shame win? If the battle is won then why do we continue to give in? Why are we allowing shame to isolate us?
Something I have learned is that no matter how alone I felt or feel I never am. At the core of our existence we all have the same needs. To be loved, accepted, wanted and secure. And although life throws us down different paths and pains we still have the same hurts on the deepest level. Rejection, abandonment, unlovability, and worthlessness. And we choose whether we realize it or not to allow that shame in. The power that words have are insane. By simply being vulnerable and allowing people into our darkness we are choosing and declaring that shame doesn’t have a place here. That ya maybe I have messed up but I am not going to let that define who I am. Because someone already came and did that for me. So whoever is reading this and is feeling totally alone and covered in shame I challenge you to pick one person to let into your mess. I promise you that when you start allowing others into the mess that’s where the healing happens. That’s when the shame begins to fade and you no longer feel alone. I felt alone my entire life. I know how that feels. And it’s a choice and it takes courage and it’s scary as hell but it’s good. And it reveals our fathers heart for us through our mess. Because if you share something with someone that you never have and they are willing to share with you, I bet you will realize that you are a lot more alike than you thought. You’ll begin to shed the lies of I am bad. Or I am wrong. Or I am alone.
To be honest y’all, I’m tired. I’m tired of watching men and women of God be held back from the blessing that he’s calling us into. I’m tired of the shame and isolation stopping us from walking in freedom. I’m tired of the children of God who are called to be free in a battle that is already won walk around like they are losing. That’s not Christ. That’s not kingdom. And that’s not our God.
I challenge you, whoever you are, to be brave. To share one thing today or this week that you have never shared, with someone you are comfortable with and who you know loves you. I challenge you to be brave. To be bold. And then do it again. With someone else. And do it again. Every time you speak those words those lies lose power. And when you stop letting the enemy isolate you with shame you begin the process of walking in the truth of who you really are. And that’s pretty darn neat. The battle is won. So why are we acting like we’ve lost?
Cool. Update. One of the squad members I’m with got denied from China. So the squad is heading there. We on the other hand are heading to Kazakstan early. I felt all month I wasn’t supposed to be in China and Gods just doing cool things so as we go together separated from the squad please pray for them and for us. That we meet some incredible people and hopefully bring some light to some darkness in this world. Also, that we can strengthen our bond with each other and pour into each other and continue to pursue what being a Man if God truly looks like. Iron sharpens Iron eh? I love y’all a lot.
God is good
Thomas Pond
