One of the lessons God has been reminding me of is how life is best lived without a script. Life is best lived in the constant presence of God, relying on the Holy Spirit for guidance day by day.
During my time in Medellin I had the opportunity to speak in our ministry’s church services twice. Yes, now I have preached in each country I have been to, but this time I had a translator! It was refreshing to be able to speak in my own language and I was happy to finally be able to go into more depth in my message.
The first time I was asked to speak about anxiety and how I overcame mine. In case you didn’t know, part of my story includes dealing with some intense anxiety around the time of my freshman year in college. The second time I was asked to give a message for the homeless church. I spoke about the kingdom of God and how it is an eternal home with eternal hope.
In both instances I had to trust God to use me as His vessel to communicate the message He wanted me to give. But at first I was too focused on writing out the perfect script to project the “perfect” message to these people. I’ll share a bit of the experience of my first message and what I’ve learned/relearned from reflecting on it.
In prepping to speak, I typed out even everything I was going to say. I had to have the perfect script of how my message was going to go. Ironically, in preparing the message I ended up getting a bit of anxiety. I started to worry that I would say something wrong, or that my message wouldn’t have an impact. Plus I worried what others would think of me (isn’t this often how we view our lives as a whole?).
What could my story have to offer these people? These Colombian men who are in the rehabilitation program for drug and alcohol abuse, and some for being former hit men. What could I offer these people who seemingly had more intense pasts than mine?
When it came time to speak, Rebecca (the ministry leader) said its best to just speak from the heart. I left the script behind and went up on stage without anything.
Instead of relying on my script I relied on the Holy Spirit to lead my words. When I stepped up on stage I remembered something my teammate, Tom, said in praying for me: “Lord help Taylor not to see these people as ex-alcoholics or assassins but to see them as broken, saved, and loved people just like him because they are all your children.”
The differences with which I saw these people faded away and were replace with eyes like Jesus. So I gave my message, telling the bit of my testimony of how I overcame my anxiety with by seeking and being in the presence of God day by day. The basis of the message was that we all have victory in Christ and I encouraged them all to seek what that looks like in their life over their own individual problems.
When I finished the message, I realized how good it was. Maybe it’s in my blood being a pastor’s kid, or maybe the Holy Spirit was leading my every word (maybe a bit of both). But I realized that in writing my script out I had been trying to portray MY message, MY story.
When I left the script behind, I opened up room for God to take my story and use it to communicate HIS message. I still had an idea of what I was going to communicate, so I wasn’t left without any plan (God never leaves us without His leading or guidance), but leaving the script behind opened up room for the Holy Spirit to lead. The message came out smoothly and it flowed well together, and I’m confident that that it was guided by the Holy Spirit (in both messages I gave). I’m confident that those were God’s words using my story to communicate a life giving message.
Here’s the thing. God also used this experience to remind me about the very thing I was speaking on and of my own story. While prepping my message, I wasn’t staying in God’s presence (the very thing that delivers me from anxiety). Instead I was worrying about what I had to offer these people and I was anxious about messing up. In that moment I wasn’t living in the confidence of my identity as a child of God.
Matthew 6:27 says “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” I realized that this experience relates directly to life itself. We try to craft our own scripts for life, trying to portray a certain message or image, and then we fit God into the context of our lives. Some of us really can try to control the plan of our life. But that isn’t living a life close to God. That isn’t a life being guided by His constant presence.
When I stepped up on that stage without my script, I had to do it with confidence in my identity in Christ and in how He equips me with His Spirit (that’s a promise!). Then the message turned out better than anything I could have planned!
I know all too well how our plan for life can get turned around. I find that when my eyes aren’t on Jesus I can try to control the events of my life, and that leads to anxiety and worry. But when I leave my plans, thoughts, feelings, and desires behind I open up my life to be guided by the Holy Spirit. Living a Spirit led life is living a life the way it was meant to be; a life of freedom and confidence. It’s living a life close to God and it allows you to live into your identity as a Child of God and an heir with Christ.
Life isn’t best lived by making your own script or by following your own plans. Instead, it’s best living in the presence of God every second of every day, and from that we let the Holy Spirit be our guide for life. He promises that everything will turn out better than anything you could plan.
Don’t be afraid to live a Spirit led life.
