In the middle of multiple panic attacks, I met God in a new way. And He met me there too.
The more I release from the grips of religion and labels, the more I am able to love and appreciate the world around me—and realizing what I truly want to dedicate my life towards fighting for. Jesus’s message of establishing kingdom on Earth through Love can be found almost everywhere; you just have to be willing to listen and put your ego aside in order to build bridges of connection and oneness (*John 17:20-21). The message of love, peace, and unity found in the gospel is also written all throughout history, music, dance, movies, poetry, street graffiti, podcasts, civilians seeking asylum, the immigrants cry, the widow’s tears, freedom fighters of all religions and nations, the list goes on. These revelations are not limited to religious orthodoxy, it’s simply the passions of God manifested through all of His creation. We must be willing to put our own understanding of who God is and how He speaks aside in order to see His Love manifest even through people who look, think, and believe differently.
*“I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.”
??John? ?17:20-21? ?NLT??
I recently had a bit of a breakdown as I mourned all of the hatred, suffering, and misunderstanding I’ve encountered in the world. It all felt super lofty and I experienced multiple panic attacks, trouble sleeping, and deep anxiety for the first time in my life. But in these dark moments, I called out to God and He revealed what He wants me to do about it. At the end of the day, I simply came to terms with the truth that I can’t save the world—that’s not my job. But I know I am called to express and fight for oneness on Earth through my gifts. It was a scary period, but out of it birthed a deeper connection with God—and new poetry!
Some years back, I participated in slam poetry competitions and open mic nights. I haven’t felt inspired to write in years but for multiple nights, mid-panic attack, I’d wake up and write until I could fall back asleep. It was a beautifully emotional rollercoaster.
Through my last month on the Race, I’d like to share my poetry, please enjoy.
CHRIST IN ALL
If their music isn’t laced with Jesus we deny its prophetic sound.
But how is this possible when even BC, David’s prophetic voice pleased men wearing crowns?
Before Man was, Christ was—a majestic vibration of sound.
Waves put Earth into motion so that Love might abound.
He gives visions, dreams and words, strings and melodic chords.
Wisdom breathed life into existence.
A Big Bang and Earth existed.
However you put it, the Bible says God is Spirit
How dare we confine Him to limits?
He speaks through the lyrics the love song.
He is soul in which we stand.
The soft Caribbean sand.
He speaks through his people,
Whether they know it or not.
He speaks through his people,
Whether devoted or if they untie the knot.
Stop closing your mind.
Find the messages of the great Divine—
Intermingled,
Interwoven
Into roots from the vine.
He cuts off branches in us and says those aren’t mine.
But those that stay let them live, be the light that we shine.
Open your mind and find his words in the mad musicians discourse.
Be not afraid nor disillusioned,
Don’t be led off course.
For victory is already yours.
To those who will listen, let Him sing to you these words:
I gave breath to the keys of Mozart’s brilliant mind.
I’ve danced to the beat of the flamencos technical design.
I’m interwoven in the strum of Melendez’s happy feet.
I spoke through the lips of Gandhi’s speech for peace.
My intricacy is revealed through the syntax of a Beautiful Mind’s math equations.
I’m in the pews at the orchestra, leaping out from my seat.
I am in the story of the toys, of lions and Moana at sea.
I am the love story that ignites every emotion unseen.
I am the sound
I am the beat
I am the ocean
The locomotion
Do not limit me to what you can see.
Hidden dimensions declare my majesty.
I am this I am that,
I am white, I am black,
I am shapes, I am curves,
I am the light and spoken word.
I proposed change to the darkness and a matrimony ensued.
Yes my dear mistress, I am the great I do.
Do not divorce your first love,
Remember His embrace.
Do not divorce the world, She’s begging for true Love to reign.
Find me in her wonder, in her deceit and her rage,
Reform, don’t rebel.
Let unity collide
I am the Universe,
Parts made whole.
In the fabric, in literature and its metaphoric design.
I am Gestalts theory and Nature’s relativity.
I’m in the lyrics of the love song, just listen deeply—
I am hidden in the details, keep searching as does the true seeker.
I am bigger than you’ve been told, mightier than rings of a tree that’s grown old.
I am alpha,
I am omega,
The beginning and the end.
I am the Christ since before time existed,
I am rooted in the majesty of all mankind.
Open your eyes and see the wonder,
Close them now—find Me deep within one another.
—
Thank you so much for reading and following along my journey!
Much Love,
Stella
IG: @stellaagee
YouTube: Stella Udeozor
