Beauty
noun
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a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.This is the definition of beauty. I don’t really like this definition. the last few words are “especially the sight.” In my eyes, there is more to the beauty of a person than just what you can see. People say all the time that “it’s what’s on the inside that matters” and that is true, but do we truly believe this cliche saying? Can we honestly say we care more about the beauty of our souls than the beauty of our bodies? Over the past two months, the Lord has been repeatedly placing on my heart the fact that my beauty is not defined by my outward appearance, but rather the way I treat people and if I choose to follow Him in the things He asks me to do. To be truthful, at the start of my race, I did judge people on their appearance. I formed assumptions on my first impression of them, their physical appearance being a large part of that, and didn’t take the time to get to know them personally. I’ve recently realized that doing this to others has also caused me to do it to myself. Finding beauty in my outward appearance has always been a struggle for me and time and time again it has always failed me. It was something I struggled with in high school and continue to wrestle it out with the Lord. But the Father is bigger than these thoughts and struggles. He has constantly been reminding me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that there is no flaw in how he made me. People can give you compliments all the time but honestly those don’t really have that much power, the words are fleeting and the meaning behind them is weak. However, when the creator of the universe calls you beautiful, that has the power to stick with a person. I continually ask the Lord how He sees me and He constantly reassures me with the truth. I can hear these things and I know they are true but actually being able to fully believe them is easier said than done. It’s easy to get caught up in the social pressures of society and believe the lies that the enemy is telling me. I fall into that trap of lies often. I’m sick of it. It’s exhausting.Soooooo 2 nights ago my whole team found out we had lice. Katie got it first so we made jokes and acted like she had the plague. Then six out of the eight of us (MO MO is invincible) ended up getting lice and had to apologize to Katie for giving her a hard time. Katie we love you!! We sat in our room all getting checked and going through each others hair. We went to dinner and I jokingly said “what if I shaved my head” lol. (side note: I didn’t shave my head cause I had lice). The second I said this I got a weird urge and feeling like that’s actually not a bad idea. I asked around the table and most people told me to maybe not do that but I could feel the Lord gently telling me to ask Him this question and not others. I started praying in the middle of the Mexican restaurant and asked God to give me a sense of worry of anxiety about my idea if it is not something he was calling me to do. To my surprise, I got none of these feelings but instead a sense of overwhelming peace. The same kind of peace that He gave me when I was considering doing the race. So I sat there eating my burrito asking Him the reason behind why I should do this. Most of the time when I pray about something, my questions are not answered right away but rather in the Lord’s perfect timing. However, He immediately told me that He wanted me to find my beauty in Him and who He sees me as and not my outer appearance.I do not love everything about myself. Who does honestly? One thing I did like though was my hair. I got compliments on it and affirmation from what others said causing me to forget what God has to say. I want my soul to be beautiful. I want to show beauty in the way I treat others and the way I follow the Lord. God asks us to do scary and uncomfortable things all the time. Most of the time I am too prideful to obey. I’m tired of being half in with God and hesitant to obey everything He asks. So I stepped out boldly in faith and trusted that good things would come of this BECAUSE He is always good. I did something I knew would push and challenge me in many different ways while also bringing me that much closer to the father. I shaved my head.I got a buzzcut in the our cozy hostel in Penang, Malaysia, surrounded by my girls. We laughed, screamed, sang, and prayed big bold prayers. The room was filled to the brim with joy as Mandy and I stepped into the freedom of finding our identity in the Lord and not our appearance. Afterward the boys gave us hugs and told us we were beautiful. Men of Christ right there.So I shaved my head. Something just one short week ago I claimed I would never do. Learning to be completely obedient to the Lord no matter what the cost is. FREEDOM is found in bald heads, people :)))PSA I am $5,700 from being fully funded and in order for me to stay on the race, I need this by January. Donations would be GREATLY appreciated!! Help a baldy out!!
