Nano: the grandma I love because she overload me with goodies, bought me some of the best and most interesting gifts, and spoiled me to no end. But thinking back on all the memories we shared, give me nothing but pride. It has been one month since Nano’s time on this earth ran out. I want to take advantage of this time for us to remember and celebrate the life she had here.
I have titled this day series Gifts from Grief for the soul reason of seeing God’s hand over this grieving season. The World Race has tought me a lot about vulnerability! Sharing this series enables me to communicate with God, Nano, and you as I continue to process.
The day that she returned home, to be with God in Heaven was 82 beautiful years after June 3, 1937. Over the past month I have been flooded with beautiful memories of the time we spent together. Of course there are could of, should of, and would of’s I’d like to change but I refuse to let the enemy have a foot hold.
Fear in the Bible means to be overwhelmed and to be controlled by something. This season fear of God means to be overwhelmed with wonder before the greatness of God and his love. I long for the day to be reunited with Nano. For now I will continue to remember and celebrate the gifts God has been showing me. Not being home for her death has given me light in my life, and made my happiness swell.
God’s plans always leave me with the single word of WOW! He knew that I would need a community that I wouldn’t receive at home. He knew Nano would walk the last 4 months out with me. As I sat and reflected with God one day I wondered why he took her before I could say goodbye one last time. His response was my child I have so many gifts for you in this season. I received gifts of returning home to Christmas presents (from 2018), Nano’s presence joining us at worship, teammates visions about birds and flowers, confirming quotes, and seen God’s reminders that Nano is still part of our lives. I experienced this most through a card from her. I never expected this gift to mix hurt and joy. The DAY I wanted to open the card I couldn’t find it. After frantically searching I found it. As soon as I opened the envelope God asked, why I don’t seek him as fiercely as I sought for Nano’s card. Once I pulled out a few trinkets and read the card I learned an important lesson. When I seek God whole heartedly my heart becomes tender of how God orchestrates hurt into pain.
I have began to realize my community, love for storytelling, and inclusiveness have allowed me to grieve in a healthy way.
Through this grieving process I have spent a lot of time thinking about Nano’s new homeowners and critical care team. In parts 2-4 I will remember and celebrate the impact she has on their life and the impact they have on our lives. So let’s get started!
