It’s hard to understand sometimes where God wants you and who he wants you to be. My prayer lately has been God I don’t know what you want me to do. I don’t know the next steps you want me to take. I’ve been searching so hard for what God wants me to do but what if the thing he wants from me most right now is faith. I was stressing about this as usually and I asked My friend Alex about it and she said “well what takes the most faith?” Does taking the next step right now and letting God lead me by opening doors or closing them take the most faith or does waiting in patient expectancy take the most faith. I’ve found that I thrive when I’m chasing something and I pour my whole soul into something when I’m pursuing it. So waiting patiently and trusting God is really hard for me. I like to be in the safe zone. I like security. To know my next step months in advance makes me feel secure and having everything in the unknown freaks me the heck out! But I think right now what God wants from me is faith. Faith that no matter what happens or how I move his plan for me will prevail because he sovereign over my life. And if waiting patiently means putting a whole new amount of faith in Him than I ever have then I think that’s his will. I know that I’m pursuing him so no matter what happens I will be glorifying him in whatever I do. Something that my squad leader said that I had never thought before was that there is no A or B. We think if we choose A that we could possibly be ruining everything because what if B was the right option. Or vise versa. But Gods plan for us isn’t simply A and B. In fact the entire alphabet couldn’t confine his great plan for us. If we are pursuing God then we will be glorifying him in anything that we do and his plan for us will prevail no matter what roads we take! This is good news! I don’t have to be perfect in my decision making cause I certainly won’t always be. I won’t ever be lost and even in the unknown I’m still not lost. I was found the moment I trusted the Lord with my life. Trusted the Lord with my life… Yes, I think I finally get it now. Im not in control. I’m simply along for the ride. The moment I gave the Lord the steering wheel he veered me off onto new terrain I had never even thought existed. The roads weren’t nicely paved, they weren’t main roads driven on by everyone else, they weren’t regulation safe, in fact they were horribly bumpy and dare devilish at times. People thought I was crazy and sometimes I thought I was too. But they sure don’t realize what they’re missing out on. This road less traveled may be uncomfortable, scary, and not the world’s first option, but the view is priceless. The ride is exciting, exhilarating, a joy ride! It’s an adventure of a life time! And there’s always the moments where we pull off and stop to just watch the sunset over the ocean in peaceful bliss. It’s not a ride I’m doing alone. He’s always with me. Always directing me and laughing with me and sitting in quiet with me.
Sometimes I wonder what life would look like for me if I didn’t choose to trust him. Most likely I’d be in college right now with an undecided major. But even if I had picked that God still would have used me! One mistake of mine would not have disrupted Gods plan for me. He’s God after all! But look how much better his intended plan was for me. I’ve traveled all over the world spreading his hope and love to tribes, villages, and leper colonies. And I just had to take a step of faith, believing he would provide and open the door to this great adventure. And of course he did! It was his will and he is faithful! So now I’m taking another step of faith. He will be faithful in putting desires in my heart that align with his will for me and when the time comes he will open up another door into another great adventure. Whether that means trekking across the world again, or living in a college dorm, or working in coffee shop it’s a great adventure cause I’m off roading on untraveled terrain in my jeep wrangler with Jesus as my driver!
