I’m about to be completely real with y’all. The other day I was having a pretty crappy day. I was seriously questioning the purpose of all of this. And by all of this I don’t just mean the World Race, I mean life in general. I honestly didn’t even know why I was here or what I was doing. The truth is that most of us have days like this sometimes. We all have days where we question and wonder why. Well this particular day was one of those and then something pretty freaking cool happened. God used me to speak life and truth into one of my teammates who was also struggling with the same thing.
We were sitting at a coffee shop discussing a lot of different things. Both of us were just feeling pretty empty and drained and just in need of something. I then remembered a realization I had a few months earlier when I had gotten back home from my original race.
There was one day when I was back home in America and I was just so frustrated and sad. I didn’t understand why the place that once felt like home didn’t anymore. Then it hit me. My home didn’t feel like home because I don’t belong there. This earth is not our final destination, heaven is. The closer we get to God, the more the things of this earth fail to satisfy us. We were created for so much more than this physical world.
I had just spent 11 months of my life growing closer to God. I had laid aside a lot of material possessions and comforts to pursue a year of submission and obedience. Suddenly my eyes were opened. Suddenly I realized that all of this stuff on earth that we use to fill some void is all worthless. There is absolutely nothing on this earth that can bring us the true satisfaction that we are all longing for. No relationship, no job, no amount of money, literally nothing else but Jesus will EVER satisfy.
This was a disheartening, yet freeing realization. Part of me was mad because I thought, well if nothing on this earth is ever going to fill me then why am I still here. Truthfully it would be so much easier for me to just die and be in heaven with Jesus where there is no sin and brokenness and all I get to do is fall at his feet and worship him, but the reality is that I am still here.
God placed me on this earth for a purpose and that purpose is to serve Him. I know that as long as I am still here on this earth there is something God still wants me to do. There is someone I need to encourage. There is someone I need to share God’s love with and I don’t want to waste any time. Time on this earth is so very short in the grand scheme of things.
So the freedom in all of this is that now I don’t have to worry. I don’t have to care about the tiny little things that literally DO NOT MATTER. I get to wake up every single day with a calling and a purpose. I get to go out into the world and love on God’s children and tell them that they have a Father that knows them, loves them, and wants a deep relationship with them. I get to sing, dance, and worship the King for creating me and placing me on this earth.
One day when all of this is over and I do come face to face with my Maker, I hope that he tells me, “well done good and faithful servant.” On that day I will finally get to rest in his loving presence forever and ever. In the meantime, I will fight the struggle every single day against sin and brokenness. I will go against everything that the world is telling me to do because I don’t serve this world. I serve the God of the Universe and I will walk in obedience to Him always.
So I shared all of this with my teammate who was also struggling and as I was talking she started crying and not just a little bit. She was sobbing at the table in the middle of the coffee shop and I was just in shock. Even though I was doubting my purpose in that moment, I was able to remember something the Lord showed me a few months earlier and share it. She told me that as I was speaking a huge weight was lifted off of her that she had been carrying around for months. And that’s how God works. He takes us in our brokenness and uses us to touch other people’s lives.
That day a little piece of me was healed and transformed. I had woken up that morning and didn’t even want to be on this earth and then I went to bed that night with a smile on my face because God showed me that even on days when I don’t understand what is even going on, He is still moving and working and in all things He is still good.
