I’ve been home for a little over 2 months now and I can pretty much say I haven’t heard the Lord’s voice since I returned. I’ve ached to hear him speak to me, but all I have heard is silence. He feels far away, impossible to reach. I can’t find answers for why he ripped me away from a place I was building a home and community, but that all changed today.
The Lord opened my eyes and heart to see him better today. He helped me realize that the reason I wasn’t hearing him was because honestly I wasn’t even trying to. This morning I drove up onto the mountains desperate to hear him speak. So he spoke.
First he showed me a trickling of water off the mountain side where the ice had melted after a cold winter. He told me that I was the ice, I was frozen in a state of confusion and apathy and I was running to everything, but him, to be melted. But that now since I decided to run to him instead of waiting for him to come to me he was releasing me from that cold and isolating place and melting off the ice surrounding me so I could flow freely.
I then reached the bottom of the mountain where I chose to go down a road I have never been before just to see where I would end up. I had been looking for the perfect spot to sit and write all day but seemed that everywhere I went there was a million people in my way of serenity. Somehow the road I was on lead me back to the parkway where he directed me right to the most beautiful overlook that was just the perfect size for only my car. He reminded me that he will guide me and fulfill my desires if I am willing to give up control and throw myself into the unknown.
I realized this morning through time sitting with him and worshiping that this time of my life is for sure slow and I don’t have a lot of current purpose and sometimes thats okay. I listened to a song that said “while I wait I will worship, while I wait I will trust you, Lord I’ll trust you all the same” and I heard him speaking that over my current season. I have to be willing to trust him in this waiting time and worship him even if I feel he is far away.
When you’re in the drought it feels like you will never feel the rain again, but then when you finally do, it is the most sweet and refreshing feeling. Thanks Lord for giving us dry seasons so we can feel refreshed all over again by you. You are good even in the hard.
