Trust: a five letter word that holds such fear for me. Trust and knowing that God is in control. It seems so simple but as I’m writing my second blog I’m realizing just how hard it is for me to trust God and let go of the fear of the unknown and not being where I should be in my life.
Maybe it’s just me, but I remember being young and having no problem trusting God. I don’t know where the switch occurred in my life, or if anyone has gone through the same kind of thing.
That childlike faith that made sense too trust God after all he had never let me down and I could always count on Him. Yet the older I got it seemed the further I pulled away. In my mind the one person I could trust seemed to disappoint me. Though I had head knowledge of Bible verse and stories of countless people who trusted God with everything they had, but here I was this christian doubting the creator of the universe. What is Christianity if you can’t trust? Without trust it’s hard too have faith but I find myself again and again having a hard time trusting, that no matter what theirs a reason behind the madness. That through this crazy thing called life with all the ups and downs that God is in the mist of it that their is a purpose to trust that He loves me regardless of how it might feel. Though it feels like I’ve bitten off more then I can handle. I’m realizing the process that no matter how long you’ve been on this journey with God it doesn’t always get easier that its still a huge thing that I need to nail at the cross the need too be in control the fear of not being the one holding everything together. Through the process of the World Race, I’m realizing not only can I not do this on my own, I need now more than ever to rely on God not only for my financial needs but also for my emotional needs.
