I often joke with my friends that I am the best at relationship advice even though I have never been in one. I think this is because of my perspective. When people are stuck knee deep in a problem it is hard to see the obvious sometimes and they need people to show them what actually happening in real life verses all there assumptions.
In life it is really easy to not be able to see past your large mountain of problems. In this it shoves you deeper and deeper down into the valley. When we sit surrounded by our problems and make them bigger then they actually need to be. On the race when you are trapped in you own pity we call this a victim circle. When it feels like everyone and their mother is against you, no one loves you and everyone hates you. You then are in the victim circle.
The song “I am no victim” by Kristene DiMarco shows it perfectly what we are. The best way to get out of this hole of despair is to shift you perspective and speak truths over you.
“I am no victim, I live with a vision
I’m covered by the force of love
Covered in my Savior’s blood
I am no orphan, I’m not a poor man
The kingdom’s now become my own
And with the King I’ve found a home
I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I’m defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says”
We have three things that we can control in times like this: our attitudes and perspective, our choices and the people around us. When you have a bad attitude and perspective speak what is true over you. There is always an uplifting truth that you can proclaim. I am a daughter of the king. I walk in freedom. I am deeply loved. Fear has no control on me. I have authority in Christ Jesus. I am here for a reason. This is right where I need to be. When we practice this it quickly gives you a reality check and pulls you out of the victim circle.
When someone close to you is having a pity party don’t tell them that. Show them the truth and the reality of that situation. Never tell them that they are stuck in the victim circle but share the powerful truths that Jesus proclaims over us.
So yes, I will still claim to be the best at relationship advice because I have an unbiased perspective. Since I have never been in a relationship I don’t have past emotional scares. So I can easily state the obvious and bring people down to a normal level. If you even need a reality check come to my office sometime.
