These last two weeks have been hard for me with regards to the World Race. At moments I honestly don’t believe that I’ll be able to raise the funds needed to go.
I’m working part time (and trying to get more hours), going to school, paying off school and loans, and have the every day-to-day purchases that need to happen. I am sending letters out and having conversations with people and have started to do fundraisers but it looks and feels like I’m doing everything for nothing.
I’m scared. I’m scared I won’t reach the needed goals. I’m scared that I’m making the wrong choice. I’m scared these 8 months left will yield no progress. I’m scared that my family is right. I’m scared that I’m not worthy or capable of doing this.
I’m overwhelmed with work, classes, fundraising, and having a social life. I’m used to having five plus things on my plate and doing them well but this time it’s different. I feel like I’m failing everything and everyone.
I know God is telling me to push forward. To keep on doing my best in all I do. To seek his face and to keep on pursuing a life that is holy. This is what he has called me to do in this time.
So there is only one thing to do; to trust the words and promises that he has told me and to do as he says.
I am choosing to trust you. I choose to believe that your hands are at work, even if I can’t see them. I choose to keep on working in what you have set before me even if at times I fear I will not see the outcome. I choose you. El Roi, the God who sees me.
