Hearing the Lord’s voice has always been struggle of mine. Did God truly say that or is that my own thoughts? Is what I’m desiring just good or am I actually hearing from the Father? Does he audibly or verbally speak to us? How does he speak??
I have to admit, I was skeptical of believers who claimed to hear God’s voice. I couldn’t understand how people heard the Lord’s voice. My mind even would go mute when someone started a story with “God told me..”. The only instance of God’s speaking that I was familiar with was through His Word, that was God-breathed. It was hard for me to believe that God would speak to us any other way beyond reading His Scriptures. It made me a bit uncomfy. Majority of the time I would completely write it off.
No matter how much I envied other believers’ ability to hear from God or wished I heard God’s voice myself, my unbelief seemed to always prevent from me ever truly listening. In the cases where I felt like God might be leading me towards a particular person or place, in a certain direction, or pushed me towards one side of a decision more than the other, I found myself questioning if it was me or God.
I mean, I’ve never heard God’s voice audibly. I think the biggest misconception I believed that there was only one way people heard the VOICE of the Lord, and that was in the form of a voice, how we know it…a tangible VOICE that speaks to us loud and clear.
I thought something was wrong with me. I couldn’t hear God’s voice. I basically spoke over myself that I had an inability to hear from the Lord, and eventually I actually believed it, in a way I had partially accepted it.
Truthfully, I’m still not confident in the way I hear from the Lord but I know he gives me good desires, that in no possible way could they come from myself, a sinful and fallen person. He gives me strong supernatural feelings unlike anything I’ve felt before. He gives me peace that surpasses anything this world could give. He teaches me things in Scripture that I would never understand without his wisdom. He speaks to me through other believers with scripture and things not of themselves. He speaks to me through replacing my disbelief and doubts with a faith I can trust.
Sometimes God gifts me something tangible to grow my faith.
God, help my disbelief.
God spoke to me in Cusco.
One afternoon in Cusco, Perú our team chose to do a spiritual scavenger hunt as our ministry for the day. Like I said above, listening prayers were quite uncomfortable for me but I dedicated myself to pursuing uncomfortable and hard things. We prayed for God’s direction and guidance on who to pray over and give water bottles to. Just like a normal scavenger hunt, you were searching for specific things, and in this case, we were searching the city of Cusco for people God revealed to each of us.
We started our time in prayer asking God to speak to us individually. I prayed, “God, give me eyes to see your children the way you see them. Give me a heart to love them the way you love them. God, show me who is on your heart today. God, show me who needs this water and more importantly who needs you today.”
Half expecting to not receive anything from God, I sat in silence for the remaining of the time. I had already decided I would say I didn’t hear anything from the Lord when it was my time to share as I usually did in exercises similar to these. To my complete surprise, I got this clear picture of a homeless man in yellow. I literally couldn’t believe it, I thought I just made it up. Regardless, I stuck by my decision to say I didn’t hear anything, and that’s exactly what I did when it was my turn. As I listened to everyone sharing what they heard, I felt this deep uneasiness in my soul. I tried to push it out and avoid speaking up. After a little bit of time I turned to Matt, “I did hear something. God gave me this picture of a homeless man in yellow. I don’t know if it’s God or something I made up but I felt so uneasy and needed to share.” He suggested I share with Emily, a squad leader and also my partner for the day. So, against my own wishes, I shared with her. Totally supportive and encouraging, Emily was ready to find this homeless man in yellow.
Not even a minute after departing the rest of the group, Emily and I are were walking away from the center fountain, and there this HOMELESS MAN stood in YELLOW directly in our path. My eyes opened wide in amazement. Amongst the busyness of the city and people racing in all directions, it felt like he stood completely still, plainly in my sight. The plaza was filled with people of all nations, wearing all colors, and varying in about every size but there was no doubt in my mind that God put this specific man strategically in my path.
That afternoon I heard the Lord’s voice, not audibly but through this picture of a homeless man in yellow. God calmed my disbelief and grew my faith with a tangible gift. Even though He is God and isn’t required to, in all of his goodness and faithfulness He showed himself to me with this man named Alfredo wearing yellow.
