My squad is officially here in Georgia and we’re starting our time here with a debrief. Debriefs aren’t easy for me but they’re so necessary.
I’ve learned a lot throughout the race that I’m not one to typically enjoy being in a large group. I get overwhelmed and I just feel like a number a lot of the time. But put me in a group of 5-8 people who I can get to know deeply and seek out and who will seek me out and I THRIVE.
I love one-on-ones, I love small groups, I love intimacy.
So, with that said, debriefs are hard because our whole squad of 24 come together as well as our leadership from the states and we literally ‘debrief’ what the Lord has done in the last 2 months. We have sessions with teachings, we have time to rest and rejuvenate, and sometimes, like this one, we have team changes.
This morning we did a session reflecting back on the last 4 months…Argentina, India, Nepal, Armenia.
Shoot, it was a lot to process.
We had prompting questions from leadership on the fun things, hard things, sad things, broken relationships, restored relationships and more. But let me tell you, an hour is not near long enough to process through 4 whole months of joys, struggles, hurts and growth.
This process of reflecting on the last few months made me realize how long of a process processing the entire race will take. It’s not going to take a day or a week, it will probably take months.
It will take intentional time with the Lord.
It will take days of just sitting in His presence.
It will take seeking out a community who will come alongside me and it will take intentionality and patience from friends and family to let me process.
This is hard to write because I almost feel selfish in it…like ‘I’m going to need this…’ but I’ve learned that I need to voice what I need. If I never voice it, my needs will be failed, not intentionally, but because others just don’t know. And when the failure comes, I can become bitter.
So, I humbly voice to you that I will need intentionality when I go home. I will need people to sit with me and listen to the hurts and growth I’ve walked through. I will need you to just let me be me. I know and trust that I have people in my life who will do this and I look forward to the growth and intimacy this process will bring. I can’t wait for you to be part of it!
