Yesterday the word ‘WORTH’ was really on my heart. I was a little upset when the Lord wouldn’t let me write a blog about it…but now I understand why.
My team decided that we would do at least 3 ministry days together each week. Today the Lord called us to painting in the park. Painting is something that I’ve never thought I was good at and it was always a struggle for me…I thought I wasn’t creative enough. But Mallory, one of my teammates, has been encouraging me through it and we occasionally have painting ‘dates’ — which has been so sweet.
So today, we went and sat in a beautiful park that was filled with people. We sat in the shade of a tree in the center of the park and the 7 of us began painting. If you’ve never painted in a park, I’ll have you know it draws a lot of spectators. Everyone is interested in what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and what picture you’re making. That’s kind of the point of painting in the park though, we love getting the opportunity to draw people in to what the Lord is speaking to us.
We started out in prayer and asked the Lord together and individually what He had for us to paint/draw today.
As the music played, I had a vision of a girl with jet black hair, bent over on the floor…as if she was ashamed and hurting. Gently reaching out His hand, Jesus stood next to her and was waiting for her to realize that He loved her despite the shame she felt. His love was endless and unconditional for her. Her dress was red because her sins were completely covered and paid for by the blood of Jesus. Then the song ‘You are More’ by Tenth Avenue North came on. The line, ‘you are not the sum of your past mistakes’ hit me hard.
I felt the weight of the women around us and the shame that they were feeling…it was heavy. So I drew it. It came easily onto the page and I knew it was what the Father had.
I loved the picture I had drawn…but I didn’t feel attached to it — if you don’t know me, that’s weird for me. I somehow knew the Lord had someone for me to give it to, but I didn’t know who or when that time would come.
We went around and shared what we had drawn/painted and what the Father had shown us in it. I shared that the Lord put the women of Yerevan on my heart so heavily and this was the picture I got with that feeling. I didn’t know exactly why but I knew that it was for the women of this city in some way. I saw Suze, sitting across from me, light up and say, ‘That’s so crazy, Meg! I have been watching this girl behind you crying the whole time we’ve been here. She’s been on and off the phone but hasn’t stopped crying.’ I looked back and saw the girl, she had jet black hair and she was still crying. I didn’t know for sure if she was who this picture was for but I kept praying about it as we finished our time in the park.
I didn’t feel peace in leaving…so I asked Suze, ‘does your heart still feel heavy for that girl?’ She didn’t really know but Maggie said, ‘do you have anything to lose by giving it to her?’ I considered that and asked Suze to join me in giving this picture to the girl.
We walked up to her, and the closer we got, the more I knew this was for her. She put her phone down and I asked if she spoke English — ‘a little bit’, she replied. We sat down next to her and asked her her name — Ani. I explained what the Lord had shown me, I shared my picture with her and said, ‘I believe this is for you. Jesus loves you, He sees you, and you are not defined by what you’ve done or the mistakes you’ve made.’
As I said this, I saw her face change…it’s hard to explain but she felt it, I could tell. She was hurting. There was shame, but she heard me when I told her that Jesus loves her despite her mistakes.
The Lord knew exactly what she needed…she needed to know He loved her DEEPLY and He used Suze and me to be His messengers in that.
So worth…our worth is not defined by what we do, the good or the bad. It is defined by the endless, unconditional, reckless love of Jesus.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness” Jeremiah 31:3
Ani didn’t tell us what was going on…but I know the Lord spoke to her. I pray she knows her worth. I pray she knows she is not defined by her past mistakes. I pray we can all walk in the freedom of knowing we are not defined by our mistakes. We are loved deeply by the King of the universe and He will never abandon us.
