My last day at home was a Sunday. I spent this day at my favorite place with my favorite people. Quest Church youth group. This day was extremely bittersweet. I was not ready to say goodbye to my friends and for life to go on without me there. I was excited though because I was not expecting to be there. I was expecting to be gone already so that extra Sunday night at youth was amazing. I remember taking lots of pictures with the students and other leaders. I remember crying when I left Culvers after saying goodbye to Nathan and Kelsey. Another thing I vividly remember was seeing one of the students I got to spend time with at Passion, Lauren, writing on a bunch of cards. I didn’t think anything of this at the time. I just thought she was writing cards for a friend or group of friends. It seemed like the students were always doing stuff like this, so it was not a big deal. After youth group she came up to me and we talked for a minute and she handed me a stack of cards. One was for me to open then and the others were for specific times on the race. These ranged from my birthday to when I am happy or even sad and everything in-between. I almost opened my first card within the first hour of getting to San Francisco. I was sad and lonely sitting in the hotel lobby waiting on the dude who made the hotel reservation. Travis got there and I was fine. I opened my first card for real a week later. It was my birthday card. It was a sweet reminder that even though I was across the world my friends and family still loved me and were thinking about me.
I had expected to have opened all the cards within the first month. It was a tough one, but the Lord stretched me a ton. Today was the first day that I had to open one. It was the feeling lonely card. Sundays on the World Race look completely different than Sundays at home. Most of the time we don’t end up in church on Sundays. Today we went out and I spent some time with the kids in our neighborhood playing soccer and watching Tanner teach them the Uke. Early in the afternoon I wasn’t feeling all there, so I got some food and laid down for a bit. Watched some Office and took a nap then I went to spend some time with the Lord. I am starting a sermon series from home called No Plan B. It was an amazing sermon to start so I highly recommend giving it a listen. Anyway, during this I just closed my eyes and felt at home. I was no longer one of four white guys in the entire apartment complex in the middle of the desert in Africa. I was sitting at the noon service in the middle section at Quest Church with all my friends. This started an emotional spiral.
Next thing I knew the Lord was reminding me of these people who I love dearly and showing me how much they love me. He reminded me of this in the way in which they were able to love and surround my sister when I was unable to. A few months back Hanna started having a rough time. She has a difficult time making friends being disabled but I am normally there to help include her. Being in Asia at the time I was unable to help. This loneliness can quickly lead to depression for her and it was. She is a huge reason why I am on the World Race and I would leave in a second if I had to so I could be with Hanna. I was almost at this point when my friends stepped in for me. They took Hanna in and loved her just like they have loved me. To them Hanna is just another member of the big family of young adults at Quest. Thinking of this and how amazing my community is at home shook me a little.
I feel like I have done an amazing part on the Race of living in the now. Not thinking about what I am missing but enjoying the blessings the Lord has placed in front of me. Tonight, I did not do a good job. All I wanted was to be sitting in my seat at church. I wanted to be at small group on Tuesday night with my friends and sister. I wanted to go and get coffee with John or Sarah or Nathan or anyone else. Thankfully a friend gave me some cool letters to open at times like this. Even though I was sitting just feet away from the other guys on my team all I could feel was the distance between me and my friends at home. The letter I had for this occasion was full of love, motivation and reminded me that I am not alone on this journey. I have countless people back at home praying for me and would do whatever they could to support me. There were verses backing up these facts and a couple of the verses I read this morning in my quiet time with the Lord.
I feel a lot better after writing this blog and reading what the Lord has to say about when I feel alone. I still miss everyone back at home, but I am back in Namibia. I am back in the now. I know that these are going to be the best days in my life and this short moment of homesickness will be forgotten when I look back on my time here. I know I am exactly in the place the Lord wants me to be. I am with the exact people He wants. I am grateful for the opportunity to be on this crazy journey with the Father. I am grateful for my community both at home and on the Race. I would not have made it to month five without all of you.
Self-Promo time. Just like I wouldn’t have made it to month five without the support from my community, I won’t make it to month 11 without your support. I am now about $3,000 short of my final fundraising goal. What this means is I only need $3,000 to be able to eat and have a bed to sleep in at night and transportation to the other six countries I have plus back home. This is not a lot of money compared to what this goal started off at. The Lord has provided abundantly so far on this journey and I know He will continue. Please prayerfully consider partnering with me financially so I can continue this journey traveling the world telling everyone about the goodness of my amazing Father.
