I did something yesterday that made me think of you!! Sometimes I do something so amazing that I think “Woah! I wish I could have everyone with me. I wish they could be here for this.” Which is ironic because I also sometimes wish I was there instead of here. I’ve found myself in that tension here lately. And i’ve realized; it isn’t satisfying to dwell on the future. To think about a new bed frame and painting that mirror off white when you can only go as far as making the to do list. And when you stop daydreaming about it all and remember that you are here, not there, you’ll start wishing you were there. And before you know it you will have made the mistake everyone warned you about.
WELCOME TO MONTH 9 ????
haha although this all sounds sad and.. sad. i’m okay. Like I said, I was warned about this. A couple days ago I laid in my bed as the springs dug into my side thinking “There’s nothing to do here. This sucks.” And then I remembered someone telling me that month 9 is hard and that it will be a battle to not spend your time thinking about home thus, living in absence for the next 3 months. I’ve heard that a lot of people mentally check out during this portion of the race. The romance has worn off, you start to make plans for home, book your flight and count down the days. I thought about all of this, got up and made a list of things that I could do instead of lay in bed.
I’ve also realized that when I do get home and the excitement and romance of being there wears off, I could potentially find myself in the same cross fire. Laying in my comfy bed, making myself feel at home with false discontentment saying “There’s nothing to do here.This sucks”
But the reality is that there is peace and fun and spontaneity, not even around the corner waiting to greet me, but living inside of me. Waiting for me to get out of bed, grab a pen, doodle a smiley face and make a list of things that I could do.
The reality is;
•that a day after I made my list I went to go on a run that only last but 3 minutes because my 7 year old neighbor had plans of giving me a tour of our grassy mountain top. He introduced me to Skipper Wes and his horses, showed me the local grave yard and had the genius idea of giving each other code names. You can refer to me as Lighting Bolt.
•yesterday my team and I hiked for hours, swam in freezing cold waterfalls and picked lovely flowers to press in between the pages of our bibles.
•and tomorrow morning my team and I travel to a remote mountain to cook meals for and support a youth group from Louisiana that will be building a house for an indigenous family. All meals will be prepared around a camp fire, I’ll sleep in my hammock and wether or not we’ll have showers is still up in the air. We’ll wake up and live in the sun rising peeking its self through the trees and the best part is…
none of this was on my list of things to do instead of laying in bed.
Yesterday I day dreamt what it would be like to fall down a rabbit hole like Alice did when she discovered Wonderland. I then found myself walking around singing happy songs, picking flowers wishing I could make my bed in them and realized I already had.
I hope this was some sun shiny inspo for your Monday, it’s raining here so it at least is for me.
