Around this time a year ago, I was praying for God to make me “desolate”. I came across these words in Tim Keller’s book “Prayer” and they really stuck with me.
“You must account yourself desolate in this world, however great the prosperity of your lot may be. The scales must have fallen from you eyes and you must see clearly that no matter how great your earthly circumstances become, they can never bring you the lasting peace, happiness and consolation that are found in Christ.”
It didn’t take long for these words to seep in and to realize that I was pretty comfortable with my earthly circumstances. I allowed myself to get sucked in this artificial, routine life. I felt like I was sleep walking. Same thing every day, every week for who? For what? I found that I was extremely comfortable and wasn’t dependent on God for a single thing really.
I distinctly remember sitting in my room frustrated with myself and the patterns of our world, asking for God to make me depend on Him. Telling Him that I wanted to get to a place where I would account myself desolate. HA, turns out He’s taking me to 11 different places.
I now find myself entering this foreign dimension where every single circumstance in my life is changing. Any routine I have ever had is being tossed out the window and the only thing that will remain is my Father. The good bye’s have commenced, letters have been written. I leave home tomorrow and the humbling process is in full swing.
As I grieve over the time I will miss with family and close friends, my heart sings knowing I will be stretched in such a beautiful way. God is so faithful.
People keep asking me if I’m excited, if I’m scared, “are you ready?!”. This has been my latest response;
“All I can picture is me arriving in Atlanta, embracing my friends, sitting through some sessions and, eventually, hugging my parent’s bye. After that, my mind is completely blank. After that I have no clue what lays ahead… for eleven months.”
I am excited and as ready as I’m going to be! I can’t wait to miss the H E C K out of you all. This month home between training camp and launch has been so special. All i can say is thank you for supporting me so super well in the ways that you all have. It’s here people!!
We are doing the dang thing and I hope you will stay tuned for it all.
Ps- I loved the idea of accounting myself desolate so much that I got a tattoo over the summer to remind me of it. Here she is pretty soon after 🙂
