I’ll start this post off by saying, if you haven’t read my previous post from training camp I SuGgest you do! You can click (here) It will help give you some context for this post and add some more value to it.ALSO before you read this journal entry you should know that commas and sentence structure are no place for mine and God’s conversations 😉
8/11/18 Journal Entry
“So. I asked you for opportunities to obey and trust you and you called me to my knees again because it’s still uncomfortable. So I went out, said yes, and I felt so free. I felt peace. And when I asked you what you think of me you showed me an image of a flower. And you said to me “Malysa, you know how much you love the flowers? That’s how much I love. Everything that you love about the flowers, is everything that I love about you.That’s how beautiful you are to me.”
I started to really think about this and guys. God is so rich! Let me tell you why. I asked Him for opportunities to say yes and in that, He gave me reasons to trust Him. I asked Him what He thought of me and He spoke my language. God knows how much I adore the flowers, He stinkin’ made me that way! He hears me when I thank Him for the flowers. He watches my eyes light up when I give and receive them as gifts. He knows His children and He speaks to us in ways that are profound to us.
When I asked God what He thought of me I was just doing what our speaker that night told us to do. I was expecting to ask God the question and worship Him right where I was at. Not, to receive some task but, God heard my prayer throughout training camp and used that time to grow my “yes” for Him.
I asked Him what He thought of me but all I kept receiving was
“go on your knees”
Me- “right now? You sure because I’m supposed to b- “
God- “yes sis, now.”
I went over to this spot on the side of the stage and that’s where I went to my knees. As soon as I got over to the spot I felt some relief but still a feeling of panic because I was somewhere everyone could see me. I closed my eyes and calmed my heart. The more that I focused on God and spoke to Him, the more comfort I felt. As I slowly breathed in and out, finding peace, God spoke to me saying “See this isn’t so bad. Nothing traumatic happened and you’re okay.”.
I got a little more comfortable with being uncomfortable. I started to sit up onto my knees more, off of the heels of my feet. I raised my hands higher until they were completely outstretched to Him. “there you go!”, He said. I could FEEL the trust for my God growing. I spent some time just resting in His goodness and it was after that when I asked “what do you think of me?”.
I love that God called me to obedience before answering me. He revealed to me more of his character and showed me how to trust Him.
This is what He calls us into. He calls us into this perfect community with Him where we can ask him questions. Where He KNOWS us and loves us and we know this because he tells us over and over again in scripture AND when we ask Him, He tells us again.
So I encourage you, wherever you are in your walk of faith, to spend some time with God today and just be still. Ask Him what He thinks of you and if He tells you to do something, be obedient.
