A few days ago I read through Matthew 14:22-36, the story of Jesus walking on the water, and God gave me a new perspective on the passage that I would like to share with all of you. This is kind of a long one. So, buckle up!
Let me set the scene. The disciples were sent ahead by Jesus into a boat, and they had ended up far from land, buffeted by a storm. In the middle of the night the disciples, probably desperate, soaked, and afraid saw a figure heading towards them in the storm, on top of the water, and they start freaking out saying “It is a ghost!” Spoiler alert: It is Jesus. His response isn’t to chide them for not recognizing him, but rather he reassures them saying “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” I really love that because in the midst of a ‘storm’ it’s hard to see clearly with your emotions blowing you this way and that and the situations seem so turbulent they threaten to tip the boat over. It can be difficult to distinguish where Jesus is in a storm, and sometimes we don’t realize he was there until after the storm has passed. The important thing to keep in mind is that Jesus’s approach to us in the midst of a storm probably won’t be what we would expect or fit into our parameters of what is possible, but he is always there.
Now, the story doesn’t just end with Jesus walking up to the boat, rescuing the helpless disciples, but rather Peter takes the next step, a bold one I might add. I always thought about Peter as the screw up when I was younger, and I feel like he just gets a bad rep in general, in this story and pretty much all the gospels. But the truth is, none of the other disciples offered to remove themselves from the only visible safety net in a bad situation. Peter asked Jesus to tell him to leave a boat in the middle of a storm, which by all worldly logic is completely bonkers. But you know what, Peter was willing to ask God for the crazy things, knowing that He would protect and support him. I’ve got to say, I want more of that bold courage to remove myself from my comforts, precautions, and buffers that I surround myself with so that I don’t face the full brunt of life’s storms. Peter also didn’t just throw himself out of the boat, but asked Jesus to command him, and I think that shows that it wasn’t taking a stupid risk but following God’s wisdom. So, don’t go empty out all your savings, but make sure you aren’t clutching on to them so tightly you’re not offering them up to Him, knowing God has every right to ask you to give it up because it would be the best thing for you.
As Peter steps out onto the sea, he doesn’t look at what’s going on around, but he focuses solely on Jesus’s face. However, something changed when he reached Jesus. His focus fell back on the forces of nature around him that he has no control over instead of Jesus’s complete control. He ended up throwing into doubt whether Jesus was going to keep him safe or if he was enough to keep him afloat, and Peter begins to sink.
I don’t think this was some kind of ‘punishment’ from Jesus, but rather it was a direct result of Peter trying to rely on his own power and coming up short, and in Jesus’s mercy he was taught a valuable lesson. If Peter hadn’t started sinking, panicking, and crying out to God he never would’ve realized the part of his heart that still doubted Jesus and trusted in himself. And Jesus ‘immediately’ comes to his aid. He doesn’t let him flounder to teach him a lesson, even though we know through Peter’s reaction to Jesus’s arrest and his betrayals that Peter hadn’t learned to place his full trust in God yet.
I was always bothered by Jesus’s response of “Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?” It always seemed so harsh, but I realized the way its worded caused me to mistake Jesus’s tone for one of disappointment. Reading it again I could hear a smile in Jesus’s voice, one you might give to a friend who did something kind of dumb, but you just love them so much! He was saying “Peter, why did you forget that I’ll always have you, you dummy.” Peter learned of God’s faithfulness even in the moments when he himself loses sight of it.
Okay, we finally got to it! Jesus calms the storm, and I always assumed that this was the point in the story when the miracle happened, prayers were answered, the money came in, everything worked out, and they skipped into the sunset. I think differently now, but I do bbelive this is the part of the metaphor when you no longer feel caught up in a storm of emotions. They are all still in a boat in the middle of the sea, and the basics of the situation haven’t changed. Only now they have steadiness and peace instead of fear and uncertainty, with Jesus clearly present in the situation.
So, why didn’t the storm stop when Peter had reached Jesus or after he was pulled up? Let me tell you,I can know Jesus is faithful and in control, but that doesn’t always mean I feel like I have utter peace. I can still feel like I’m being blown around by my own fears, sadness, and anxiety. Waves five feet hight might roll towards me threatening to overwhelm me. But I can still trust God to keep me up above the water, and that brings upon me a special kind of steadfastness and peace completely detached from how I am feeling. So, the storm stopping to me is the blessing of the feeling of peace and calm that you know has been there all along, but no one expects you to go through the tough times of life completely untouched. Grief and negative emotions aren’t the enemy, and you’re no less faithful for feeling them.
I don’t know what kind of storms you have gone through or are going through, but I know that the storms of my life have been the most growing times of my walk. You have the Lord of universe on your side, and when you pursue him, even when that means giving up the only things you feel are keeping you afloat and choosing into truth and peace when everything you feel is chaos, he will never let you sink.
