In case you didn’t know, I come from a decent sized family. I’m child number seven out of nine, and I have two siblings-in-laws. I remember sharing this information with my squadmates at the beginning and just seeing the shift of surprise and the wide eyes they gave me. It was hard to say goodbye to my siblings, knowing that, while sometimes we didn’t talk much, there was going to be a new kind of distance between us. I knew that, as always, even if we didn’t talk every week or even month, they would be there for me, lifting me up, praying for me, and ready to do anything for me at the drop of a hat. But what I was not expecting is that I would gaining another 50 or so siblings.
Confession time: I’ve had a really hard time learning to live in healthy community with others. So much time was spent these last four months digging up roots of fear and distrust, pushing myself into uncomfortable and sometimes anxiety producing circumstances, and squashing the judgment and indifference that I used to defend myself. And I finally feel like I’m starting to enjoy the fruits of my labor with the Lord and my squad. Today I realized some key things about the way I feel about them.
The first is that when I had to say goodbye to a squadmate for an unknown amount of time, I felt the same as I did five months ago saying goodbye to my brothers. There was an acknowledgment of the physical distance that will now separate us but also of the closeness that we will experience in the Spirit. A mutual agreement that the promises to care for, to encourage, to love, and to go to the Lord for them all stand firm. It’s hard to put in words, but I know that this could only come from community based in the Lord.
The second feeling I acknowledged was pride. I know for a fact that every single one of my squadmates is going to do world changing Kingdom work, whether that is within the confines of their own communities or globally. Before, I hate to admit, I had let pride and judgment get in the way of accepting my squadmates potential and current spiritual strength. Every one of them is chasing after God, working to get to know him more intimately with incredible fervor. I am so, so proud of who they are and of who they will become. We are a part of the generation that God will use to bring revival, and I can’t wait to see the wonderful Kingdom work the Lord will walk us into in these years to come!
