Hello! I hope you all are having a fantastic start to your week!
Please let me know if theres anything i can pray for on your behalf!
Sorry if my last blog about training camp was a little vague, there was so much that happened internally that it was so hard to explain what that was like in a whole.
After some processing time, i wanted to share something the Lord’s been working on in my heart.
drum-roll please……
Self Worth!!!!
Before the Lord, i put everyone before me. My selflessness was an escape to selfishly avoid myself. I didn’t value who I was and my worth came from the way people treated my. I looked to people and experiences to satisfy me.
At training camp the Lord was calling me to stillness, I did avoid it, at first. I was afraid the Lord would have told me how average He created to me. I was afraid that if I was still too long i would be disappointed by the outcome.
after finally listening, due to some very nessesary confirmation by the kindest soul Mr. Christophel, i finally sat still and let the Lord work on my heart.
In those moments the Lord spoke to me of my worth, He gave me a glimps of how He sees me. He told me of my identity, and how special He made me.
Okay so what maggie,,,,,,
Well, what God did for me, He will do for anyone willing to seek their value in Him.
What dose it look like to know more of your worth, and find your value in christ!
1. I care about my outward appearance, i know it sounds silly, but i didn’t care what i looked like before because i didn’t feel worth putting on make up, or styling myself. It wasn’t enough to feel good for myself, But now, I want to feel good on the outside because I feel good about me on the inside. (I may have developed a sense of style in GA)
2. I no longer have anxiety about shopping. no more scary dressing room conversations with myself.
I am proud of who i am, no matter what size clothing I put on my body.
3. What I don’t do anymore is miss out on opportunities because I convince myself I am not good enough. I also no longer talk down to myself because all words matter.
I am living my truth, knowing who I was called to be, by the one who created me.
I want that for you!
Last story.
This was the icing on the cake for me, when i knew the Lord truly changed my heart.
I was sitting with my sweet church girl friends and some how the conversation changed to how we learned about the ‘idea’ of sex for the first time. I listened to how the innocently shared their stories. I though to myself wow, I wish I was as innocent and untainted by life as theses sweet ladies are. Things would be so much easier.
… then it was my turn…
all in one moment the Lord spoke to my heart and reminded me how deep our relationship is, and how He found me in my mess.
I saw the beauty in the innocents and covered lives, BUT I also saw the beauty in a redeemed life. Wanting my life to be any other way would have taken away my experience with a God that chased my heart even when I ran away, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
Soooo, I proudly shared my not so innocent story, sugar coated of course!
Knowing in my heart, the Lord worked everything out according to His plan.
I’m praying for you all my friends!
I love you!!
