time and time again the bible refers to the faithfulness of the Lord:
2 Timothy 2:13 “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.”
Psalm 33:4 “For the Word of the Lord is upright, And all His work is done in faithfulness.”
when i accepted my place on a team for the world race, i thought to myself “wow i have until october to prepare; that’s quite awhile from now.” SIKE. the preparation started that very day and has not stopped since. through this season of preparation, the Lord has been ever so faithful in so many promises in my life.
in december and january, i was struggling hardcore with depression. through this, i lost two of the best people in my life at the time. my boyfriend and my best friend. within a few weeks of each other, i was deserted by both. i was completely alone. in fact, i couldn’t really even feel God’s presence; He was being silent, or i just couldn’t hear or feel His presence. it was a hard time. it was a time when i should have turned to the Lord for strength and guidance and comfort, and i just couldn’t bring myself to do it. i was going through the motions of being a Christian, but was not actively seeking the Lord’s refuge.
in this time of transition and change, i had found a new church. i started to really look forward to going to church, to hearing the messages from Pastor Brandon, to being surrounded by people so immersed in the Lord’s presence that i began to feel Him again.
Luke 6:21 says “Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”
deep down in this time, i was hungry for the Lord, but couldn’t seem to find Him. His promise holds true, and His faithfulness commends in that i have yet again been satisfied by His presence.
as for the second half of that verse, it shows me that there is a place in this world for weeping. my best friend that i sort of had to walk away from during my hard season, was trying to convince me that weeping was not of the Lord. weeping was showing weakness; sadness was weakness; depression was demons. when this is false! the Lord says that those who weep will be blessed. allow a time for weeping. allow a time to mourn with the Lord, for He mourned and still mourns when necessary.
in the new church that i mentioned above, i have found a new group that have become my people. they are a group of people that sharpen me as i sharpen them; the way that the Lord designed friendships. to call on one another when we are in need, and to explore who Jesus was and still is together.
sometimes being a Christian is lonely – you choose to live differently than people who are living of this world. Jesus was lonely sometimes. He and his disciples were often excluded or insulted for living differently. so we as Christians can expect the same.
but yet again, the Lord’s faithfulness shines bright. there are times that are lonely, but it never lasts too long. the right people are brought into your life at the right time.
i consider all of this mental and spiritual preparation for the race. maybe i wouldn’t have considered the race if i still had that boyfriend? maybe i needed to find the Lord on my own again instead of having a friend’s opinion of the Lord pushed onto me. maybe i am losing things of this world, but gaining the real reward in Heaven by being obedient to the Lord. finding a community that strives to make me a better person and follower of Christ is exactly what i need in order to prepare for the race.
God knew i needed all of this. and because it wasn’t my plan or the way i wanted things, it hurt. and i was frustrated. but i’m seeing it all fall into place now. and this lets me know that i will never stop being proven that the Lord’s plan is always greater than mine.
hugs to all of you.
