On May 5th I stood in the middle of the organic food isle, yes, right in front of the peanut butter section, pondering for far too long at the brand of peanut butter I wanted to get. I asked myself several questions like “Which one would taste most like the brand I eat at home? Which has the most natural ingredients? Which one is priced the best? Which one can I actually afford?” Then it hit me. There was only one answer to the series of questions I played over in my mind.
None of them.
I can’t buy my usual all natural brand of peanut butter that I would at home. I’m not home, and I’m not going to be for a while. Some things I gotta give on, including my preference on my brand of peanut butter.
So why was I standing there in the middle of this grocery store isle for far too long struggling with the fact that that I just can’t have this particular peanut butter because it was totally out of budget?
Because I wanted the comforts. But I knew I wasn’t supposed to have them. Not now at least.
So I grabbed the cheapest jar of crunchy peanut butter with a brandname of something along the lines of Miss Creamy’s and checked out.
The only 5 words that ran through my mind that convinced me to get the cheap jar of peanut butter were these:
Its a year of abandonment.
The World Race isn’t a year of finding my greatest comforts from home and getting them. This year isn’t supposed to be a year of recreating comforts. Its a year of abandonment. Abandoning my greatest desires and greatest comforts of home, such as good peanut butter, and pressing into Jesus.
In Asia, its been incredibly easy to find our greatest comforts.
Wifi is abundant. Malls are a grab ride away. New clothes. Many many coffee shops. Amazing ice-cream. Pizza. Good American food. Laundry mats. Air BnBs with TVs. Netflix and Youtube connected to our TV.
All the comforts are at our finger tips.
So this morning while I was waiting in the hospital with my teammate Vanessa (we’re all good guys no worries) the Lord began to speak to me more about my peanut butter revelation.
Well here ya go… here’s my brain dump from this morning….
Year of Abandonment
I need this reminder especially as things get more comfortable…in our Air BnB, in first world countries..
What comforts have we tried to create for ourselves that God never intended us to have on The Race?
What things are we are most mad we don’t have? Those might be our comfort items- what is God asking us to replace them with?
What haven’t we abandon yet that God may be asking us to?
All of our deepest longings are meant to be filled by God– what are we stuffing into our deepest longing boxes to maintain their shape instead of letting Jesus break those boxes of comfort so we naturally overflow out of this place of abiding in him, staying desperate for him. Lets not let our longings and feelings keep these “Jesus boxes” all neat and tightly tucked away, lets not let them control our actions and wallets.
“If only I had _____, or I really want ____” Lets instead be quick to ask, how did Jesus create you to desire that thing, or person, etc. What’s that thing symbolize? Where does that desire come from?
I realized that this was a year of abandonment in the organic peanut butter section of Cold Storage in Gurney Plaza…
Filling ourselves up with these comforts takes away the room Jesus wants to fill our hearts with his comforts, His love!
Are we trying to fill ourselves up, or are we actively asking where Jesus is in the midst of our discomfort?
What are we really craving?
Stewarding our money will come naturally when and if we check our desires and longings and continue to turn back to Jesus.
Why are we spend money to feel comfort when its so so free?
……End of brain dump
That’s a lot…. I realize. But that’s what I signed up for. That’s why I’m here in Penang, Malaysia asking the Lord every day with my team what he wants us to do and then we doing it. Its that simple, even though all those questions might make it more complicated.
ALL that can also be condensed these two questions I’ve been asking myself daily.
Jesus How can I make you Lord today? How can I follow Jesus with my heart, mind, body, and spirit, TODAY?
This requires giving up my comforts. Longings. Cravings. Desires. Wants. All of it.
But I want to do it because I know Jesus is worth it. Ah man what an amazing Father God is that He chose me to feel this immense amount of intense and deep love from him. He chose me to be sent around the world to share this crazy love with others. He chose me to stand overwhelmed in the middle of a peanut butter isle in Malaysia and come to the realization that this year isn’t about me, its about Jesus.
Its not about my comforts. I’m not supposed to recreate them, I get to press into them with Jesus.
Its a year of abandoning comforts so that it can be a year of abiding in the comforter himself, Jesus.
And he chose me to do this!! I’m blown away and overwhelmed with the fact that I get to ask Jesus each day how we can grow together and he answers. He speaks right to me. Amazing!
Man! Who thought peanut butter could trigger so many deep thoughts! Pretty cool huh? Yeah God’s good at doing that.
Thank you for reading my peanut butter revelations. 🙂 Penang has been good to us!
I’m still looking for supporters as well so donations are encouraged!! 🙂
