Meet Martha
February 8th, 2019 ~Debrief
“Just be with me” are the words God has been waking me up with each morning. I have no need for an alarm anymore, because my Father has been nudging me ever so softly to wake me and invite me to be with him.
The first morning I woke up to his whispers I packed my backpack with my sketch/reflecting journal, prayer journal, bible, sunscreen, essential oils, first aid kit, bug spray, deodorant, long sleeve ( just incase this African heat decided chill out in the morning), and my pencil pouch filled with my supplies. I was ready, prepared, to sit and be with my father.
While journaling and drawing (something I have recently discovered brings me complete peace and allows me to be in a place of listening to Jesus) I felt good, I felt one with my heavily father. I felt like I was doing enough, like I was doing the right things, the things I was supposed to do, as I routinely had done for the past 3 years of mornings in my life.
I can say that I have always be a busy body, and I feel good about myself when I get tasks done.
And I laugh now as I type that phrase out because something God has been speaking so clearly to me is that I do not need to do anything in his presence. I don’t have to complete this imaginary to do list in order to properly be with my Father. There is no formula, there are no necessary supplies I need to pack in my backpack in order to “do this thing right”.
One of my leaders recently gave me a word of prophesy saying that “the enemy of adoration is action.” HA!
Instantly I thought of being with Gerardo. There have been so many times where he has caught me furiously organizing my things, laughed and said “Mady stop, just come sit with me.”
I know this, I’m a doer I like to control the things around me, place order to things that I feel like are out of control before I let myself rest, just sit.
I like to think that I have it all together, that I’m doing this “being with God the father” thing right, but clearly God is speaking to me that its time to be still.
I would consider myself a confident person, someone who knows their Identity, I’d like to say that I have myself “figured out”. Another Ha! I don’t.
Something that I have discovering is that as God tosses me into this time of resting and reflecting that I don’t have it all figured out. I don’t know myself as well as I always thought I did.
I have a really hard time just being.
No agenda. No to- do list. Nothing but sitting in the presence of God. Just sitting with my Father.
I needed once again the reminder to stop doing and just come here and sit with God.
Now, I want you to meet my friend Martha.
In Luke 10:38-42 Jesus is welcomed into the home of two sisters, Martha and Mary. Martha is the one to open the door of their home to Jesus, but soon after she opens the door she quickly gets distracted by all the preparation of having the Lord in her home. Meanwhile her sister Mary is just sitting at Jesus’s feet listening to him. Martha soon questions Jesus “ Lord don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me.” And heavily paraphrasing, Jesus replies Martha, “chill out, stop doing so many things, just come and sit with me.”
Hmm… that sounds familiar…
Martha and I would have gotten along very well.
Ironically, since being in Africa many people have pronounced my name Mary-apparently d’s are hard to pronounce here.
Martha, Martha ,Martha…. Jesus even calls her by name, and then so gently reminds here that she doesn’t need to do anything in his presence. He just wants her to sit at his feet and listen to him. And clearly, this is the same thing Jesus is asking of me.
“Just come be with me, come sit with me Mads” is a resounding phrase I have been continually filled with ever since we were asked to rest.
“Don’t pack you backpack with all of these things to prepare yourself to be with me, you don’t need any of it. Just come sit, come as you are, just come be with me.” God time after time reminds me.
Its funny, Jesus even says, “come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew11:28-30
Oops. Forgot about that one…
I’m not saying that since this revelation I am now fully living into a spirit of Mary, but I am trying.
Just this morning, I still packed my backpack and went out and sat on the rocks overlooking the ocean. I didn’t open my backpack, except to grab my phone to snap a picture of the sunrise, I just say in silence with my Father, and it was hard.
My mind was still filled with beautiful visions of God and I in our secret place; and God did speak to me about my identity, and I think I listened pretty well, but I was so easily distracted. I got interrupted. I forgot to put on sunscreen. And deodorant. And I remembered that my journal was not at the top of my bag like I wanted it to be.
I was still worried about the preparation of being with Jesus, just like Martha.
I’m learning to be still. To sit at the feet of Jesus without my pack of supplies, without an agenda. I’m learning to just sit and listen, sit in the silence and listen without the preparation.
I’ll let you know when I get better at it but for now, all I’m going to do is continue to listen to the whispers of the Lord; telling me to come be with him, wake up, leave my backpack behind- and just come sit and listen.
I’m also still in need of support! About $5,000 to go total still! Praise God for supporters giving up to $13,000 woohoo!
Love,
Mady 🙂
