Does anyone else feel like there’s just too many things to do and not enough time in a single day to do all of them? Yeah me too.
This Friday after working for 10+ hours, I had a moment where I literally felt my mind and heart racing out of anxiety for all of the things I had to “get done”. There were things I should be doing, could be doing, and wanted to do- oh and all of those things were different. Overwhelmed would be a understatement for what I felt in that moment.
I got home from work, put on some comfy clothes, sat at the kitchen table, began making some tea, and talked to my Dad. He instantly asked if I had a hard day at work, and if something was wrong. I replied saying “No, I’m fine, I just feel like there are so many things I need to do and no time to do them.” He laughed and said “Well I hate to tell you, but that never changes,” he laughed again and said “actually it just gets harder,” Gee thanks… was my first reaction, but he was right.
Ironically, that day my Dad had a seminar at work where they brought their staff through exercises that dealt with dealing with stress, identifying how you are feeling in the moment, taking a deep breath, and reacting to situations around them in a calm and logical way.
Of course.
My Dad then showed me an exercise where he told me to put one hand on my heart and one on my diaphragm and to breathe with my eyes closed while counting to 10. But the catch was that I had to only focus on counting to 10 and if my mind wandered I had to start over. I attempted, and realized how hard it was to stay focused- on myself, my own breath, my own heartbeat, how I was feeling, and on something as simple as counting to 10. I couldn’t do it.
I promised myself to try it later, and continued conversation with my Dad as he cooked dinner and I drank my tea. I needed that, just time to realize how I was really doing, and to talk about my dreams, interests, and issues with my Dad.
Something I realized from that evening was that really, I’m not fine, and thats okay. I’m overwhelmed and learning the art of balance and discipline as I work long hours and juggle two jobs, fundraising, studying for the GRE, and a social life.
I often find myself telling people these days that, “I’m fine” which we all know is code for NOT GREAT. But you know what, that’s okay.
I’m learning to be okay when I feel like most things around me don’t outwardly seem great. I’m learning that the only thing I really can control is how I am, inside – which, news flash to me, is not connected to all these things happening around me. My reactions are important, breathing is important, and focusing at one thing at a time is important.
So thanks Dad for the reminder to check in with myself, to breathe, and to feel free to admit that sometimes I’m not fine, and that’s okay.
I also love this reminder because that’s what our heavenly fathers often tries to remind us of, when we decide to listen (lol @myself).
God speaks similar to how my Dad did. He constantly whispers, “Its okay. Everything is going to be okay, trust me, just breathe and be present.” God says, “Be still and know that I am God!” Psalm46:10 & Peter reminds us “Give all your worries and cares to God, For he cares about you” 1Peter5:7
Thanks Dad!- For listening, encouraging me to chill out, and for reminding me that my heavenly father also wants to give me peace.
Thanks for reading, I love you all!
Mady 🙂
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