Written on December 30th, 2018
A couple facts about me:
- I hate the bus, it brings me so much stress.
- My favorite drink is Dr Pepper and lots of people know it.
- Dr Peppers are very difficult to find abroad, I haven’t had one in almost 4 months.
- Today is my birthday.
Do any of these things matter in this moment? Not at all.
Our incredible ministry host (Logan) knew that I hated the bus and figured that I would be home for my birthday. So this morning he drove to the base with THE CUTEST MONKEY BOY (his kid Lucca) AND a Dr Pepper.
Where was I?
ON THE BUS. AND I HATE THE BUS.
But this morning I didn’t care.
Why, you ask?
this man:
Joel Edwin Pamal
I met Edwin yesterday. Our team was standing on the corner of 5th street and 7th avenue (or something like that) and crossing the road, stopping every few steps to lean on a single crutch, was Edwin. The Lord immediately broke my heart for his. Alongside another man I went over and hooked my arm in his and walked him through one of the busiest crossings in Antigua.
After we were safely across the street, I could not so easily walk away. The rest of my team was making lunch plans and starting to split up and the Type A in me wanted to return and finish making plans. But I didn’t. I couldn’t just walk away from this man.
So I asked him if I could pray with him. I asked his name, and he said Edwin. I prayed healing over him, I prayed that he would know the heart of God, and I prayed that God would make it clear how to love him well.
As I’m praying, a man and woman filled the pack on his back with a sweater and some food, practical needs were already being met AS I SPOKE.
Edwin is a man of gratitude, he so fervently thanked me and the couple for their kindness. I was again tempted to leave it at that but I just couldn’t. I could NOT walk away from this man so easily.
So I asked him if I could do anything or bring him anything. He asked me for shoes. I asked him size and shape and everything else I could about the size of the shoe. Typically my mind is hesitant to spend a lot of money flippantly but I couldn’t leave this man without shoes that he needs.
As I’m walking back, my team hops on and pulls money out of their packs, so freely giving to someone because the Lord has broken their hearts for Edwin.
This starts a wild 6-hour hunt for size 37 media bota zapatos ortopedicos. We rode an hour long bus to Chimaltenango, and spent the afternoon walking miles to a clinic, a pharmacy, and a shoe store with no luck. Finally we end up at a medical supplies store called Melody. As they bring out full sized orthopedic boots, foot braces, and knee supports, we realize- we don’t actually know what’s wrong with Edwin.
That’s when we decide at our meet up with him tomorrow we would take him to the doctor, regardless of money or difficulty we would find him the help that he needs.
Flash forward, I’m on the bus, receiving all kinds of texts from my teammates that our host has driven to the base to celebrate me. I have no way of communicating my gratitude to Logan, and my stress level is rising. What if Edwin doesn’t want to go to the doctor? What if he’s not even in the park? What if Logan is hurt that I wasn’t there to hang out with him? What if my birthday sucks because I decided to do something crazy like take a man I met on the street to the doctor?
And as these thoughts are circling my mind I remember the cross.
I remember:
Jesus hung out with the sinners, the prostitutes, the sick, the poor, and the tax collectors and he was never lacking joy.
Jesus went through the most pain and suffering for my good, to know me and bring me into his family.
Jesus didn’t fear the road mapped out for him, he fully embraced it and brought hope and healing through obedience to the Father.
None of the stress matters anymore.
The cross matters.
The heart God has for his people matters.
Joel Edwin Pamal matters.
We get off the bus and walk to the center of town. The park was busy this morning and we have little faith that we will find him. People everywhere are selling noise makers, making their way to the church, buying rugs and sweaters, and filling every park bench. We take a few laps, circling the center, and scanning as much of the park as we can without wasting time.
Just as we stop to remake our game plan, I realize that I’m staring right at him. Edwin is right there in front of me.
We offer to take him to the doctor, we offer to find him lunch, we offer to buy him different shoes.
But that’s not the way that Jesus loves him. He sees him and he knows him.
So we stop offering and start listening.
He’s been to a doctor, he’s had operations, he has the only job that works on his terms and isn’t affected by his limp, and he still needs shoes. He doesn’t need anymore medical attention, his bones are not strong enough to undergo more surgery. He knows what he needs.
More than that Edwin knows God. Edwin has so much faith and joy in the Lord. He praises God for the strength that he has and he praises God for the healing he has already brought. Edwin tells us that in past years he has inched across the ground on his hands and knees and because of the strength of the Lord he can walk with the help of a crutch. Edwin gives all the glory to God and EDWIN IS NOT IN PAIN AT ALL!
God has ALREADY brought hope for Edwin.
God has ALREADY brought healing, and joy, and peace, and endless strength because of the man of faith that he is.
Edwin, your faith inspires me.
I’ve not even known Edwin for 24 hours, and yet his faith has humbled me.
Who am I to offer what I can do?
Who am I to spend money on things I think he needs?
Who am I to try to save the day?
I am dust. You are God.
God brought healing. If only I had asked.
God’s provision is adequate. If only I had listened.
God’s salvation trumps mine. If only I had heard his heart for the Lord, I would have known.
Thanks God that you are in control, and thanks God that you don’t ask me to start your work but join it. Thanks God that you have given Edwin abundant life, and thanks for letting me taste some of it on this day. Thanks that today my view on mission has been totally reshaped. The goal is not a head count of healings or a number of transformations, but a bringing of heaven to earth.
