farewell (n.) – an act of parting or making one’s departure.
I think it is about time. Three and a half months of being “home,” & realizing it is going to take a while before a single place ever actually feels like “home.” Part of me hopes I will never feel the comfort of a single place being home again because being away from “home” has been life-changing.
The other part of me is desperately clinging to any comfort of the things I’ve come back to, the things that are familiar-but-not-quite-fitting-in-the-same-way-they-used-to.
Re-entry at it’s finest. Full of emotions, tension, transition, change. Scary words.
The definition of and identifying what “home” is, has changed for me. Home has changed from a specific place, to the people I feel honored to share space with. The conversations we have around the table, & the traditions, the words, the experience of being together – these things now encompass what “home” is. It doesn’t matter if we reside within four walls, gather around a fire on an Easter in Nepal, sit cross-legged on rice bags sewn together by tired hands in India, or find ourselves in an albergue, around a table full of strangers, somewhere in the middle of northern Spain.
To: N Squad
RE: “church” and other world race things.
I miss worshiping with you; praying with you, for you, alongside you, experiencing God with you, being the body of Christ with you. N squad, I am so thankful for you – in fact, “thank you” just doesn’t cover it.
Much of how I have viewed the world, or understood things to be, has changed. I think it will take a while for me to find acceptable language that accurately represents how much God has grown me, changed me, and sanctified me this year. I sit here on my side of the screen confident that this good work that has begun within me will be carried out until it’s completion, for the rest of my days here on this earth.
N Squad, church happened in countless places, in the midst of the counted-down days throughout the past year. I loved having church with you in coffee shops around the world. From top to bottom bunks in our cramped room in Colombia. The couches & heart-warming place that was our living room in Casa Blanca in Ecuador. In Peru, Bolivia, & Argentina church took place within four walls, around camp fires, within tents, by flash-light & candle light, in new buildings & old. Church was some of the most life-changing for me in the streets of India, where the goats roamed freely. Church was unforgettable on the paddle boat in the afternoon heat of Pokhara, Nepal. In Armenia & Georgia we experienced church together in our air bnb’s, the lofty, bright room atop the Clover Hostel in Tbilsi and in formal sanctuaries & on dirty streets. Church was a daily experience in the upper room of the mission house in Craiova, Romania. Lastly, church was a walk, a conversation, a shared grunt of pain as we stood up to hand-wash our laundry for the 25th day in a row as we ventured along the Camino de Santiago as pilgrims in Spain.
My definition of church has changed. N squad, you were my church, a safe place, you drew me closer to Jesus, taught me more about myself & expanded my view of who and what I thought a follower of Jesus looked like, acted like, and served like.
N Squad, I won’t soon forget you, in fact you have imprinted yourself onto my heart & etched yourself permanently in my mind. I am thankful for each and every one of you chickens.
N Squad, you are a gift to me; thank you & farewell.
To my people & my supporters,
Man oh man, where do I begin.
I just want to say THANK YOU for partnering with me in prayer, financial support, encouragement, love, kind words, check-ins & so much more. This past year would not have been possible without you & I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity I had to go on the Race. This past year was one of the most challenging things I have completed in my life, thus far. It took daily prayer, patience, dedication, and choice to press in, instead of pulling away. This experience has changed my life, shattered my worldview & challenged and grown my faith in the Lord in ways I never could have imagined, nor ever would have happened, would I have stayed stateside. Thank you for investing in my personal growth & my relationship with Jesus, I am incredibly grateful.
Should you wish to stay in touch and/or stay connected to what the Lord is teaching me, I am going to continue writing and sharing on my older platform: www.twelveplusone.net
I’d love for you to subscribe and learn alongside with me what the Lord continues to teach.
Love,
Maddie
