This past week has been the hardest week for me on the race. I’ve realized so many things, people, and places that I desperately miss from back home. I’ve been on many short-term missions trips before and leaving all my comforts was so easy. It got hard when I realized that I won’t be back for those things in 2 weeks, but that it will be months before being able to have them again. So, I’ve been making a list of all the things that I have been missing, and what I have had to substitute them with.
- Chick-fil-a – As silly as this sounds it is A REAL STRUGGLE. There are days where I can almost taste the perfectly buttered chicken minis and the taste of the dr pepper going down my throat, then I snap out of it and put the peanut butter on my croissant from the corner store and eat the banana. As amazing as these croissants are, I guarantee you that Chick-fil-a will be the first meal I have when I get back.
- Silence – Silence was never necessarily I luxury I had at home (living with three other sisters and lots of dogs.) But I found silence in small places like driving to work, taking a walk by myself, or just laying down in my OWN room with the door shut. These are things that I never thought about being taken away from me. I prepared myself for cold showers, no bed and living out of a backpack. What I wasn’t prepared for was living with 50 people who LOVE the guitar, laughing loudly, and all using the kitchen at the exact same time. So, to counter act this need for silence I have found that showering at 10:30 at night when everyone just gets tucked into bed has been my only way of getting 5 solid minutes of pure peace and quiet.
- Singing – One of the things I am so grateful for, is that my squad is extremely talented in the music department… me, not so much. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE to sing but I am so awful at it. At home one of my favorite things to do was to get in my car, blast the music as loud as I could, and sing as much as my heart desired. When living with 50 people I’ve decided to be a decent human being and save my squad mates from the agony of hearing me sing all the time, so instead I’ve picked up a solid skill of humming and nodding my head to the beat. Definitely not as fun as singing, but for now it will have to do.
- My wardrobe – I put so much thought into the clothes that I was going to bring on this trip. I had to pack for very cold and very hot weather all in one backpack. I packed and re packed and bought things that I never ended up bringing, but when I was done I thought I had the ultimate “World Race appropriate wardrobe” to pack. Well today I’m wearing the shirt I wore 2 times already this week, with stained jeans and the same shoes that I’ve worn every day for 2 months. I thought I was going to be the best dressed on my squad. But instead I find myself hoping that someone will let me borrow their shirt that they wore the day before because I can’t stand to see myself in the same outfit that I’ve worn so many times. I’m excited to go back home, open my closet and just get to experience the excitement of Christmas morning, but until then catch me in the exact same outfit 1000 times.
- My own transportation – Having my own car was never something I took advantage of back home. I dreamt about getting my license and being able to go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted, with as little or as many people as I wanted since I was 14. And when I had (almost) that amount of freedom I knew how good I had it every single day. Then I came to Ecuador where I have to constantly have 4 people with me during the day and 10 people at night at ALL times. I end up getting anxious about getting into a taxi because the fact that I don’t speak Spanish and they don’t understand English (even when I talk louder and slower, like that’s going to help), I worry about getting on the correct bus and the dangers that come with the bus terminals. I get frustrated every morning when I have to walk up an extremely steep hill and then 30 min more to ministry every day. I really REALLY miss having my own car. But when I come back home I know I will miss that 30-minute walk that gives me the chance to better know my teammates, and the chance to evangelize to the taxi driver with google translate, and to be able to just smile at someone who has had a bad day on the bus.
Even in the things that I pray to have back, I know the Lord has called me to this, He has called me to give up being comfortable and to take leaps of faith relying that ultimately, He will be my biggest comfort of all.
