“So what are you going to do after the Race?”
This question has been asked by many people to me over the course of my acceptance to the Race till now. It has been a phrase that has been daunting and hanging over me for months. I watch my squadmates talk about their ideas or plans and I feel as if I need to have an answer for what is next for me. I have tried to come up with elaborate plans or force jobs to fit my schedule. When all along the answer has been given to me plain and simple.
For me personally, I felt that the Lord was challenging me to read the Old Testament of the Bible and man, has that been a process. I am in Judges now, but the first five books, “The Books of Law”, those were rough. However, I have been learning so much. After I finish a book I like skim through it and see what I underlined and wrote and see if there is a common theme. On the 26th of October I was journaling about how I was just upset that I was going to miss my friends from SpringHill, because I strongly believe that right now the Lord wants me to lay that down to Him and wait from instructions on whats next and I wrote:
“Each year you have provided a way for me to get to training camp (i.e. finishing exams early, quitting jobs and being offered positions at camp immediately after) and this year it is NOT possible, no matter how badly I want it to happen, and so I know that it is not the time for me and you have something greater. I am excited to see whats next. I sit and wait with open hands.”
Literally not even a minuet later I open up my Bible to Deuteronomy and low and behold, what do I read? “Open your hands.” “Open your hearts to them.” “Open your hands to them.” (Talking about giving to the poor and needy in Deuteronomy 15). Immediately I was like
“Okay God, I get the message I’ll sit here with open hands.”
But that wasn’t enough for Him, He needed to show me what else I need to do because sitting here with open hands is not enough. In the book of Joshua I extensively underline the phrases “Do not be afraid.” and “I have handed (fill in the blank) over to you.”, phrases that the Lord told Joshua and the people of Israel. I thought to myself
“Wow, thats really cool.”
and moved on. Then we, my teammates and I, talked about trying to be more present here in Swaziland and not focus too much on things back home or worry over whats after the Race. And it wasn’t until I read through my journal and compared notes to what I had underlined in my Bible that the Lord gave me an answer to whats next. Here is what I wrote on the 29th of October:
“I think I finally have the message that you were tying to give me – That I need to trust you. That you have something better for me and I need to be present here and wait with open hands and an open heart.”
I had finally realized that the Lord has this in His hands, He has already won the war and I have no reason to fear whats next because He has already handed it over to me, I just have to be patient and wait to receive it.
So, that is my answer to everyone who is wondering what I am going to do after the Race. I am not going to worry about it, I am giving it up to the Lord and I am going to be present while I am on the field and sit here with open hands and wait to see what the Lord has in store for me. Because it is going to be something spectacular. (Sorry Mom and Dad, the Lord hasn’t told me to go to college yet).
I think that being in an unknowing place of whats next for the past few years has been a wonderful thing and I am excited to continue into this unknown, but it hasn’t been easy for me. I may be able to roll with the punches and seem nonchalant about a lot of things, but sometimes I get overwhelmed and scared about the future. The song “Stand In Your Love” by Bethel Music has really been a comfort to me these past few weeks. I wrote the lyrics below if you are interested in reading them (or just listen to the song because it’s great).
Please just continue to pray for safety, health and presentness for me and my team. I can’t wait to fill you all in on what the Lord revels to me.
Until next time,
Liz
Stand In Your Love:
“When darkness tries to roll over my bones,
When sorrow comes to steal the joy I own.
When brokenness and pain are all I know,
I wont be shaken,
No, I wont be shaken.
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love,
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love,
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love.
Shame no longer has a place to hide.
I am not a captive to the lies.
I’m not afraid to leave my past behind.
No, I wont be shaken.
No, I wont be shaken.
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love,
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love,
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love.
There’s power that can break off every chain,
There’s power that can empty out a grave,
There’s resurrection power that can save,
There’s power in Your name,
Power in Your name.
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love,
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love,
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love.
When I’m standing in Your love,
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love,
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love,
My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love.
I’m standing in your love,
Standing on the rock,
Standing in your love.”
