Dear india,
WOW. It literally feels like yesterday that I stepped off the plane from Kathmandu and was greeted with your heat, your various smells, and your intriguing atmosphere. Out first few hours spent in New Delhi feels like a euphoric experience looking back- American food chains, a real shower, and a giant comfy bed to crash in for the night. Thank you Lord for the gift that was, even if it was just for a few hours. And then the next morning came and we boarded another flight to go to a different area of the country that held so much more than what I could have anticipated.
Those first few weeks were hard- what I felt were “unmet expectations” and fear about the future mingled together to create a funk that held me for longer than I would like to admit. Anxiety was something I hadn’t dealt with in a very long time, but it started creeping back in- this time, no familiar people or faces from home to cling to to help me overcome that. And then friends left and went home, and I found myself feeling jealous that they so easily packed up and left. The world race is hard; it would be so easy to leave and start something new. Is that something I wanted to do too?
I was stopped in my tracks very soon after that thought process entered my mind. Absolutely not. Yes, this is hard, but the eternal glory of being obedient to what God has asked of me for this time and the fact that the kingdom of God is being manifested on earth right now through the Holy Spirit at work in me is enough perseverance to keep pushing on, and to keep moving forward.
Those “unmet expectations” I once had turned into opportunities so wild you wouldn’t even believe it in your most crazy of dreams or situations. Fear of the future turned into overwhelming rest and a deep appreciation for the season that I’m in and that there is no reason to worry about anything that comes next after the race is over. Anxiety, especially when I can’t place the root or figure out why it seems to overwhelm me from time to time, is difficult to deal with and understand, but my God is big and overcomes anything the enemy could try and throw my way to get me off track. He’s not going to win this one.
India, since being here, you’ve shown me nothing but kindness and you have provided me a space to breathe and see that the Lord is GOOD. You’ve been a place where miracles have happened- blind eyes have seen and faith has been expressed in new and insurmountable ways.
I am forever grateful for you and the ways in which God has led me here to talk and laugh and sing over me and show me the deep friendship that he wants to have with me. I’ll miss you badly, but I am ready for the things that are (very soon) on the way.
Love,
Liz
