Alright. Let’s talk about this concept of being present.
First off- I’M OVER IT.
Let’s give a little background.
I have officially been on the race for almost six months now. That’s six whole months of answered prayers and deliverance in my own life and works of the miraculous and travel days and most meals including rice and sleeping in bunk beds and life-long friendships and waking up to new mosquito bites and praying it’s not malaria (cause you already know I ditched those meds) (do not take packing advice from Liz Pound. Like, EVER) and fun but dangerous modes of transportation and learning how to be best friends forever with the Holy Spirit.
It’s been the best ever, and I wouldn’t trade any of this experience for anything.
But with that, it’s been six months of watching the lives of my family and friends through a little screen and trying my hardest to participate, and celebrate, and cry, and laugh with them through every accomplishment and every bad day. It’s been feeling stressed of trying to find a connection so that I don’t miss something big, and fears that catastrophic things are going to happen while i’m away. I’ve missed birthdays, anniversaries, most every major holiday, and the mundane days that i usually would’ve been apart of. No matter how long we talk for, there’s always a moment where the screen goes off and i’m still sitting in africa, or asia, or soon to be central america, or the floor of an airport, or next to a stranger on a bus. The reality of the situation is, I’m not actually home.
On top of all that, there’s also the reality that The World Race doesn’t last for the rest of my life. In three months, I’ll be home. And when i’m home, It’s decision time for the things that are next- college, jobs, the future of relationships, catching up with all my people, in person this time- all of that is waiting.
So then, we meet the idea of being present. It’s a concept that was introduced almost my very first steps in swaziland, and has been a constant topic in my head and in my conversations almost daily.
“Well, are you being present?”
“Is what you’re doing keeping you present?”
“Is thinking about that making you stay present?”
I never realized how big of a problem this idea was until very recently.
Don’t get me wrong here either. If all I do is think about home and the things i’m missing, then that’s a big problem; or if all i’m thinking about is the future and what comes next, then i’m totally going to miss the things that God is doing in the here and now, and THAT’S definitely an issue. He didn’t ask me to come on this trip to only be consumed with what comes next.
But you see, my mind became OBSESSED with remaining present. No thinking about the future whatsoever. No thinking about what my family is doing for christmas, or how my best friends just got a new boyfriend and i’m not home to celebrate that with her. Only here, only now.
The issue that began to create was that I was fighting for my mind to be in the right place, but I was still disregarding the things that God was doing around me; I was present, but I was not content.
Being content- that no matter where I am in the world, I am fully participating in the things God is doing around me, regardless of how I feel. You see, what I’ve come to understand is that “being present” or “showing up” or “being where my feet are” is something that will always happen, because that’s just the reality of the situation; I am present in india because that is where I am.
The bigger thing to fight for, I have learned, is to fight to be content. That’s the real choice. I can physically change where I am present, but after all, it’s the contentedness factor that’s going to follow me and stay with me no matter where I find myself on a map.
I’m kind of sad that I was pining after dumb temporary things to try and keep me “remaining present” on my race. There’s always a next; there’s always going to be something new on the way.
It’s in learning to be content that you find the solid ground to stand on when circumstances rock your world. Or when you change places. Or when you’re forced to make a hard decision. Being content is the knowledge that God is fighting for you and is right beside you and understands your desires and shortcomings and the times where things are just kinda weird- He isn’t surprised by any of that. And he doesn’t leave you in that either. Being content in all situations is the foundation of trust, which leads to a deeper growth and intimacy with him. After all, isn’t that what all of this is about anyway?
