I had this bible teacher when I was in middle school and high school that I loved so much; he was an early example to me about what it means to live out love for Jesus in radical ways and introduced me to many martyrs and missionaries that have served and lived around the world that I admire greatly now and whose stories has helped shaped my life to what it is today.
Through stories of faith and teachings of the Bible, the most prominent message he taught me was this idea of wanting to lose. (So much so that we all got bright neon T-shirts about it to really proclaim to the world around us this message that didn’t already make sense.)
Making sense- something that the teachings Jesus don’t really do often times in view of the world we live in. even some times, they STRUGGLE to make sense of the world we DO live in with him.
Jesus illustrates this idea plainly in Matthew Chapter 16:
“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (v. 25)
I’m sure when Jesus was telling this to the disciples, they literally thought this guy was crazy. Even physically, the idea of losing your life to find new life didn’t make any sense.
But, here’s the BEAUTIFUL point the savior of the straight up universe is saying here;
when we, in our set minds and settled expectations and plans for the future and hopes and dreams and ideas and desires lay those aside for even a spare moment, we are met with something that is so much greater than our wildest world-dreams could ever even come close to comparing to. Jesus, son of man, has come so that we find our purpose in his mission.
Purpose and meaning is the biggest thing people look for in this life; asking the questions of “who am I” and “why am I here” are natural and expected. But it’s only in losing your life- the life that you know, and trading it for the glory that we do not yet know- is where we find the answers to those questions. The answer has always been Jesus.
So then fast forward to February 16th, 2019, and I’m sitting in India learning this lesson of denial all over again. On hot days when all I want to do is drive in my car and blast A/C and go and meet my friends somewhere. When all I want to do is be by myself for a minute. When I don’t want to take another bucket shower, or eat any more rice, or sleep with a mosquito net around my bed so I don’t get eaten alive while I sleep. (I actually love taking bucket showers, and rice is my favorite food.. but I’ll stand by the mosquito thing. that really does get old.)
I lose. I lose big time. I surrender that. I lay that down. I trade than in for the glory I do not yet know. Because you know what? Even though I haven’t driven a car in six months or gone anywhere by myself for a long time or can’t order anything off of amazon or sleep in my own room.. you know what I do get to experience everyday?
True, authentic, gospel. Kids learning English. Drug addicts being healed. Prayers being answered left and right. The beauty of community. Drives in truck beds through mountains where people have never heard the name of Jesus. A village to encourage that has been radically changed by the love of God. A further understanding of who I am and who God is shaping me into.
Day by day, I learn a little bit more of what it means to lose my life to find it; just this time, without the bright neon T-shirt.
