Dear family and friends of Kyleigh Renee Luckett (my world race and real life best friend),
Nine months ago you sent an 18 year old girl out into the world. Weighing 100 pounds and standing at a staggering 5’1 and a half. She ended up on the race because she was obedient in following the call of the Lord. She left you with a heart full of questions and surrounded by uncertainties. In approximately one month she will return to you, but she isn’t the person you knew.
This is a blog to help you understand who she is now. Her new loves and new dislikes. The areas she’s grown and the places where she’s working. I hope that in reading this you will be better equipped to help her adjust to life at home and push her to continue to grow.
First off, Kyleigh Renee will tell you that she drinks “coffee” now. It’s a lie and it must stop. She does not mean actual coffee, so put your hot cup of joe away and give her a cup of milk and sugar (with a splash of instant coffee, of course). However, she will eat boiled eggs AND black beans now (but ONLY at breakfast)!! Wow, growth can happen in unexpected ways on the race. We have also found a conclusion to the endless debate, she does in fact hate camping. It’s a 100% decided, a tragedy I know. But, you can always take her to a basketball game if you want some good bonding time! She also only responds to the name Ky-baby. Please call her that every chance you get.
Kyleigh has grown in immense ways spiritually too. A lot of times she would put her self-value in people. She would do things for people because she craved their affirmation, and acts of love. Because, that’s what made her feel valuable. It’s something a lot of us struggle with. God has brought her through a lot of highs and lows in this, but she’s finally at a point where her self-worth rests fully in the Lord and the way he sees her. She learned to become dependent on the Lord and the Lord alone. Which is honestly an incredible feat.
Kyleigh is someone who sees things as distinct colors. They are either black or they are white. In the past she struggled a lot with showing grace, mainly to herself. Remind her that she deserves it too. Remind her to pray for people who’ve hurt her, encourage her to see herself the way Jesus does, and remind her that grace doesn’t always mean allowing people to stay in her life. It’s also good to throw a little gray in there, so don’t be afraid to spice up her perspective.
Ky, has also learned a lot when it comes to conflict and living life with people. She has learned that conflict can be really healthy and that her feelings are valid. She knows that if her feelings are backed by persistence then it is something she needs to talk about. She’s learned that living in community is hard, but so worth choosing into. That, sometimes it’s good to be a little extrovert (No worries, we love introvert time too!!) But, shes also learned that it can be really hard to live with people. It can be overwhelming and exhuasting and sometimes she really just needs space and time alone. And that’s OKAY! It’s pretty amazing actually!
She’s learned much more too, but I’ll save that for the Biography I’m writing.
Now, let’s talk about what you can do to help. You see, going back to ordinary life means that it becomes easy to fallback into bad habits and forget the growth you’ve had. BUT you can do a lot to help her!!
First off, she’s a 2 so chances are she’ll love you a lot through acts of service. Don’t abuse that, make your own sandwich. She also is probably subconsciously looking for praise in return and hopes you will do something nice for her. At the moment it happens, just say thanks. Give her praise when she expects it the least. It will help her to not feel like her actions are why she is loved or what makes her so great.
Secondly, conflict is still really hard. It’s hard for her to bring things up. So when she does, seek to understand her, say sorry, and don’t get all defensive. It’s a big way you can love her. You can also just ask her if there are any ways you’ve hurt her. But if you do this, be ready to hear the answer.
Thirdly, encourage Kyleigh to do things with you and hangout with people. Starting friendships can be tricky so make her feel welcomed and accepted! Make your friends her friends (as long as they are a good Christian community). But also understand when she needs alone time. And PLEASE make sure she doesn’t read too many cheesy Christian romance books.
Finally, Kyleigh is not great at processing. So you’re going to have to make her. She’s good at starting but forgets about it and doesn’t follow through with it. So ask her if she’s finished. Push her and ask the deep and uncomfortable questions, they’re important for her to think about. After the race she’ll have to process A LOT, so I’m counting on you guys to make sure she does it!
Please realize that Kyleigh is a new person. Encourage her in that. Encourage her in her new goals and the new life she wants to live. I promise you that a lot of her heart has changed and you don’t know it (no matter how close you are to her), so don’t try and make her fit into the box of who you think she is. Try and get to know her. Keep her accountable in not changing into who she was.
Well, that’s about all I have! Make sure she wears her retainers, goes to the gym, and only drinks one blue Gatorade a day. And bonus points if you can convince her to make her bed!!
Thanks for taking care of my girl! Make sure she feels loved and never stops trying to grow!
XOXO,
Em
