Last month in Thailand, I got the opportunity to go hangout with elephants. My friends and I got to feed them, pet them, take pictures with them, bathe them and swim with them! I’m not too crazy about elephants but I am so glad that I was able to experience that. So, as usual after a world race adventure day, I was looking through the pictures that were taken from our adventure.
Me: “Someone help me come up with a caption for these elephant pics!”
Roommates: *gives several examples and suggestions*
Me: “Omg I got it!! It’s potentially inappropriate but it’s really funny, yes or no.. I motha trunkin’ love you…”
Alyssa: “I think it’s adorable! Post it.”
Me: “But what if people get the wrong idea or get offended? It could be inappropriate. Is it worth the risk?”
This light-hearted conversation then turned into a serious one when Alyssa asked me a direct question.
“Why do you care so much about what people will think?
Oh no. She got me. I felt found out. Now everyone in the room knew that I desperately cared about what others might think about me. She was so accurate and precise with her words that it cut me to the core when I continued thinking about it. Why do I care so much about what other people will think? Then I realized something. For as long as i can remember, I have always stressed about what others might think of me.
I thought the caption was great. It was funny and it would surely get the approval of everyone who would later like it on instagram.
What if people think that I’m not a devoted Christian because of this caption?
What if it makes others question my character?
Will the people who don’t know me well assume/think that I use foul language based off this caption?
What if they the wrong idea?
What if they think I haven’t really been transformed by the love of God just because of this caption?
I know it seems super dumb and very insignificant because it’s an instagram caption. But those were literally my thoughts, and they were strong enough to keep me from posting the caption that I wanted to. After this conversation with my roommates I began to realize that it really shouldn’t matter what people think about me. If they assume things that aren’t true about me or if they question my character, that is actually a flaw in their heart that causes them to internally judge me. The reality is that a lot of people who would have seen that caption either wouldn’t have cared or would have thought it was funny. Then the rest would have potentially been offended or questioned my character. I realized that I’m never going to be able to please everyone in this world. I also realized that I’m sure as hell not going to try because not only is that an impossible goal to reach, that is not who I am aiming to please. I aim to please God. He knows exactly who I am and He knows every part of my heart.
I found this excerpt in the book that I recently finished reading and God made it even more clear to me:
“The secret to enjoying uninhibited spontaneity as a Christian is to remove unscriptural inhibitors. Chief among the inhibitors of Christian fun is our fleshly tendance to keep up appearances. We don’t want to look out of place or be thought less of by others, so we stifle our sponaneity with a form of false decorum. That is people pleasing, and Paul suggested that anybody who lives to please people isn’t serving Christ (see Galatians 1:10). The joyless cry, “What will people say?” The liberated in Christ respond, “Who cares what people say? I care what God says; I stopped playing for the grandstand a long time ago when I started playing for the coach.”
To be clear, I am not saying that people should do whatever they please and not have any consideration of other people. Of course that’s not what I’m saying, that would be dumb and foolish. I am saying that this fear of man should not hinder another person. I’ve taken it as far as not praying over people in public simply because of a fear that others might think I’m weird or “extra”. There have been times when God has laid something on my heart to say to someone and I ignored it and wasn’t obedient to Him because I thought the other person might not accept it or think I am that “odd Christian girl”. This revealed some nasty things that were in my own heart for me to even think that. There have been times when I wanted to worship my heart out and weep before God in awe of who He is and I didnt because I thought that people might think I’m part of some weird cult or something. I learned that the Kingdom of God isn’t supposed to look “normal” (LOL what even is normal anyway, if we’re being honest). It should look drastically different from the rest of the world. It isn’t meant to blend in with the world and look the same. The kingdom of God is upside down, and if you can’t see a difference then we are doing something dangerously wrong. I had to ask myself if I was willing to make myself possibly look ridiculous to others for the Kingdom of God. Was I willing to put down my pride and be obedient to further the Kingdom? I have been participating in a battle. A battle of man vs. God. I get to choose who I let win. Am I going to fear man, or am I going to fear God? I’m done fearing man. God has shown me that I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. I already chose Him.
“For am I now trying to persuade people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galations 1:10
“For our exhortation didn’t come from error or impurity or an intent to deceive. Instead, just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please people, but rather God, who examines our hearts. For we never used flattering speech, as you know, or had greedy motives–God is our witness–and we didn’t seek glory from people, either from you or from others.” 1 Thessalonians 2:3-6
P.S. I motha trunkin’ love you guys! 😉
Side note: My team and I are currently in Botswana, Africa! We are working with Young for Christ this month and are so excited to be here. The awe and peace of Africa is lingering in our hearts as we prepare for an unforgettable month. I have such a spirit of thankfulness that God is so gracious and good that He would have me here in this small town of Mochudi, Botswana where it feels like home. It is nothing like my sweet American home, yet it feels just like home. The culture here is so different from everything I’ve ever known and it’s so beautiful. I am so stoked to be here and soak in every moment. There’s no wifi in Mochudi and that is something I am grateful for surprisingly. It’s such a simple life here and it’s one that I never want to take for granted.
