This blog is part of a series of blogs I will be posting about my spiritual growth as part of an online class I am taking through Truett McConnell University.
Since leaving the USA for the World Race a month ago, I’ve grown more than I ever thought I could in just 30 short days. I’ve worried time and time again that my growth will not last or that I will fall back into old habits after this nine month journey ends, but this week the Lord reminded me of a few things:
“For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6
The Lord is actually committed to my sanctification. He has chosen me forever, not just for this season.
And this week, I started to see evidence of this truth. I can tangibly see the ways He is growing me because my reactions to my circumstances are changing.
One of the most evident ways He has grown me lately is in the weapon of prayer. I’ve learned that prayer compels us to shift our perspective in so many different ways. It shifts my perspective from myself to other people, from my sin to an unconquerable grace, and from my circumstances to my God.
In the past, if someone had approached me with an issue they were having, I would have responded by trying to muster up some advice for them and give them some steps to take in order to “fix themselves” even if I had never gone through their circumstance and had no basis to give them advice.
This week, a couple of my teammates vulnerably opened up to me about two seperate struggles they had. I remember thinking:
Holy Spirit, what do I say to them? I have no idea what they’re going through or what to do.
Both times, He reminded me that a) when I don’t know how to comfort someone, He does. He knows each of us intimately, and knows what we need more than we do ourselves.
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”
Romans 8:26-27
Now, my immediate reaction is to take a step back, humble myself and realize I don’t have all the answers, and pray to the One who does. Praying with other people is a powerful thing that I wish I would have started practicing a long time ago. When we choose to pray with people, we are actually stepping into a spiritual battlefield with them. And most times, fighting with them simply looks like saying, “I am not here to fix you. I am here to walk through the darkness with you until you come out a conqueror on the other side.”
My prayer life has also shifted in the way I respond to my own personal struggles. This week, I was in charge of booking accommodations for my squad to travel and stay in another city for a week. I was also preparing to share my testimony with my team, something I had never done before. Both circumstances were bringing up a weight of anxiety to my mind.
In the past, I would have thrown myself into a sea of distractions: Netflix, food, social media, other people, etc. But I’ve realized that distraction does not equal comfort. In fact, sometimes it equals more anxiety. But now I know that my struggles are actually a gift because they put my heart back into a position of genuine need for grace. And, God actually promises to answer my prayers, so that I know that no breath I give back to Him is ever wasted. What a sweet assurance. Now, I genuinely want to lean on Him when anxieties surface because I know He promises peace that surpasses understanding.
I feel like there are so many doors that prayer unlocks and I am just starting to discover them. I am still learning, but I know for sure that this growth is tangible and unfading. Jesus knew the power of prayer better than anyone, which is why He taught us how. I’m learning more and more each day about what it looks like to pray with the Father’s heart.
In love and gratitude,
KT
