It’s seriously insane how quickly we as humans adapt. After only living in Chiang Mai, Thailand for three weeks, faces and places that once seemed new and unknown feel like home. I see familiar street vendors that I smile and say “sah wah dee ka” to as I pass on the street. I have a daily rhythm here. I’m used to catching songthaews, or mini trucks, to ministry. I’m falling in love with this place the way you fall in love with someone the more you know them.
These first two weeks I’ve learned a LOT about expectations. They’re a funny thing. When I thought about what kind of ministry I would be doing here, dreams of loving on orphans, doing women’s ministry, and seeing people come to know Jesus left and right ran through my head….. And then I received my official ministry for my first three weeks on the race: I’m working for a book company called ActsCo. They provide bibles, sunday school supplies, and Christian books to individuals, ministries, and churches all around the world FOR FREE. It’s genius, but these first two weeks of partnering with them I’ve seen all the dirty work that goes into a ministry like this.
Picture this: One giant grassy field. Two cows (Karen and Bubba). Three small abandoned houses. Four jam-packed storage containers of books. Five hours of work in the heat of Thailand. LOTS of snails. LOTS of books. And a team of seven girls lifting, moving, organizing, stacking, and restacking sunday school supplies to put into storage containers so that ActsCo can send them out across the world. It’s tiring, tedious, and sometimes a little frustrating when all the books you just stacked by age group collapse on top of your teammate…. for the fifth time that day.
BUT, the Lord has seriously been opening my eyes through this unexpected ministry. He showed me that I have been seriously romanticizing what it looks like to serve the Lord. You don’t always get to see the fruit of your work. You don’t always feel like what you’re doing is impacting the Kingdom in any way. Sometimes no one sees what you’re doing, nor will they ever thank you for it.
Abba keeps teaching me new stuff in the book of Hebrews since I’ve been here in Thailand, I’ve REALLY been holding onto Hebrews 11 this week. Paul talks about what faith in action looks like. A couple weeks ago, one of my leaders Elizabeth gave me the phrase “blessed assurance.” I didn’t really know much about assurance besides the old hymn. This week, though, I became really intrigued when I read Hebrews 11:1.
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
At this point, big red buzzers are going off in my head. I rushed to look up the definition of the word:
Assure: (v.) tell someone something positively or confidently to dispel any doubts they may have.
The chapter goes on to describe person after person in the Bible who took God at His word, walking by faith that they would receive what was promised. A lot of those people didn’t even live to see what God promised He would accomplish through them, but His purposes still prevailed, and they received their reward in Heaven in its fullness.
This revelation keeps leading me back to the same questions: Which reward am I living for–the earthly one or the eternal one? Is it still worth it if I never see the fruit of my work? My answer is YES. Even when my expectations leave me feeling disappointed at first, I’m reminded that His perspective sees so much farther into the future than I ever could. I can rest knowing each little breath i breathe and move I make in obedience is making a ripple in the Kingdom. Cool stuff.
I love you beautiful people. Thanks for making time to read the things that have been running through my head and planted in my heart. I was actually blown away by the love you guys sent my way after the last blog I posted. Promise I will do a better job of posting more regularly!!
In love and gratitude,
KT
